This month, Marika Hackman runs the gauntlet of our random, stupid queries.
What was the last thing you broke?
A guitar string. And that, my friends, is called ‘rock and roll’.
Who is your favourite member of One Direction?
Harry. I don’t really know what the others are up to these days, but Harry’s got wide-leg trousers and bags of class.
What was the first record you bought?
It was an Eminem CD, but I can’t remember which one, and I remember going to Woolworths to buy it and thinking I was le shit.
What did you last dream about?
I had a horrible dream (let’s call it a nightmare) that I was having sex with Adam Sandler on a pink leopard print bedspread.
Who’s your favourite new band?
I’ve been going in hard on Caroline Polachek’s album, and I think she’s totally fabulous.
What’s your biggest fear?
I love sharks, trust me I Google them all the time, but I get a really potent form of shark terror when I’m on flights.
What is your most treasured possession?
I would be very upset if my book collection happened to disappear. It’s not fancy or anything, but it’s taken me a while to build, and there’s a lot of good stuff in there.
Which defunct band would you most like to reform?
S Club 7, and not just half of them. The older I get, the more I’m realising there really ain’t no party like an S Club party.
Tell us a secret about yourself?
Has any fool actually fallen for this?
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
Well, it’s simply got to be the woolly mammoth.
What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?
I got caught swimming naked in my school pool by a teacher. It was incredibly awkward.
Have you ever seen a ghost?
I haven’t seen a ghost, but I’m pretty sure I’ve heard one rattling around. Also, I was once staying in this fucking creepy house (full disclosure it burnt down while we were there) and during a game of backgammon I rolled the dice, and one of them just stayed upright on its corner until I pushed it over.
What’s your favourite thing about being a musician?
Getting to talk about myself all the time.
Were you a rebel at school?
Not at all apart from a brief bout of skinny dipping (see above).
What have you got in your pockets right now?
Bits of a tissue that went through the wash.
What’s your fave TV show?
I don’t watch a heap of TV, but I got pretty obsessed with Game of Thrones.
If you could have a superpower of your choosing, what would it be?
Communicating with animals would be very cool. Although it would be such a shame if you found out your dog was a total dickhead.
How punk are you out of ten?
Somewhere around the -6 mark
What is your earliest memory?
Waking up in bed aged around 3 and being absolutely terrified. I have no idea why.
Have you ever been thrown out of somewhere?
I got kicked out of a cab once for having a very discreet and innocent kiss with Amber. The dude went nuts and accused us of having sex and was basically just being a bigoted asshole.
If you weren’t a musician, what would you be doing?
I wouldn’t even exist, honey, because without music I am nothing.
Taken from the March issue of Dork, out now.