Being a pop star is a serious job. You can’t just walk through the door and get started. You need to have a proper interview first. This month’s applicant is Sam Conway from Bloody Knees. The board will see you now.
What can you tell us about yourself?
Hello, my name is Sam, I’m from a small village outside of Cambridge called Papworth Everard. I sell shoes and play in a band called Bloody Knees.
Why do you want to be a pop star?
Cos I’m a bit bored of selling shoes if I’m honest!
How would your bandmates describe you?
Liability. Draining. Grumpy. Annoying. Incompetent. Team player.
What are your best and worst qualities?
Pints 0-4 I’m a lot of fun. Pints 4-8 I’m an absolute nightmare.
What is your biggest failure?
A previous band of ours with a very similar line up won a competition to play a gig at the Cambridge Corn Exchange. During the gig, my bass stopped working, and I couldn’t work out what the problem was so I walked off the stage and watched the rest of the set on a screen in the dressing room while sobbing into my best friend’s arms. I was eighteen years old.
What accomplishment are you most proud of?
Have you ever seen our Oasis cover band, The Supersonics?
Where do you see yourself in five years?
Still selling shoes and going around telling everybody, “This year’s our year, playing Old Blue this Friday, come down!”
What is your salary expectation?
£50 and beers.
Taken from the November issue of Dork. Bloody Knees’ EP ‘You Can Have It’ is out now.
