Technology

[Intro: Barbra Streisand] Now, you see this screen that comes in and out And doing all this complicated stuff here? It got more rehearsal than I did I swear, a lot more Now everything on this set is automated You know they use, um, hydraulics, it's, it's really scary They say that you can make things appear or disappear with a clicker Say, like I can make this screen disappear, watch No, no, no, no, that's the wrong clicker No, not the chair, chair, I need my chair back, bring the chair back Come on [Skit: Barbra Streisand & Randee Heller] Barbra, stand up tall and stop fidgeting Ma, (I) what are you doing here? I brought you a nice sandwich I'm not hungry You look too thin I'm not too thin It's a nice chicken salad sandwich (All right, maybe I'll have it later) I need a mother clicker herе (You know, you promised me) A nice sеat in the orchestra But this is ridiculous (Mute, mute, mute, mute) Maybe Marvin wants a sandwich [Outro: Barbra Streisand] Seriously, this is so technically overwhelming it reminds me of my house Remember the good old days, B.C., before clickers? When you had to actually get up to change a channel? You know, when, when you could turn up the volume with a knob? Do you remember knobs? You remember Channel 4? Do you remember when it was just 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, 11, and 13? Do you remember? Channel 2 was Ed Sullivan, Channel 4 was Milton Berle That was it, they were there, they were always there You could count on them, you know? Then there's twenty-four hour news shows How did information get around in the old days I mean the really old days, you know? About the most powerful people in the world Like Buddha, Jesus, Moses I mean, these are big names I mean, what did they do before CNN? It was word of mouth before technology