(Verse 1)
How the times have changed, still don't know if it's right
Now a bunch of people know me but I haven't shown the fight
From the bottom to the top and back 'cause I can't handle it
You think this is hard work? I'm just rambling
And everybody in my circle knows that I'm the one
Everybody knows that I can make it I just haven't won
Contemplating if I should just spit these lines and save 'em
Or if should go back to notepad and spend hours to rephrase 'em
I don't know if anyone would care about the things I do
'Cause not every bar will make it, you don't know what I hid from you
Keep telling me my rap is shit my flow is crap my bars are weak
Five years ago I would've cared and people changed the way I speak
Rapping now in English 'cause the language's second nature
But in my heart I'm Austrian and thinking I'm a failure
You hear my voice on random beats and think that I got style and shit
But I'm a phantom in reality - I swear I'm fighting it
Not talking 'bout self-harm, the suicidal thoughts
The friends that I lost, the things that I've bought
'Cause this is from the heart I'm sharing how I feel inside
Life has just been passing by and I can't tell if I'm alright
No luck with girls, nothing's ever going right
Tell me I'm not in love with you, hide my feelings deep inside
Everybody knows you got a special place now in my heart
For some things that you said and not just 'cause you're painting art
Back to other topics let's talk 'bout the twisted fuck I am
'Cause I'm so bad at making friends, I'm the first to make amends
Sick of losing friends these days 'cause I know they ain't comin' back
Sick of people joining me 'cause they think that I'm runnin' rap
No fuck that - I know I'm a sick fuck on the beat
But still got a hundred miles to go before I hit the peak
Now would you please fuck off I'm not in need of sympathy
You should be my friend 'cause I have none but I disagree
(Bridge)
And you think you could judge me by the way I talk, the way I live
The way I rap, the way I breathe, the way I dress, the way I act
The way I look, the way I ran, the way I passed, the way I'm blessed
The way I am
(Prelude)
Back to 2019 when I had to pick my path in life
Back to 2018 when daily I felt crap inside
Back to 2017, I met a girl and fell in love
Back to 2016 when I thought that I would end it all
Back to 2015 when I first rapped on a beat
Back to 2014 when grandma died and I felt weak
Back to 2013 when everybody fucked me up
Back to 2012 when I knew this shit just wasn't luck
(Verse 2)
Back to every day that I would think I wouldn't make it
Back to being judged by difference nowadays, I can embrace it
Back to fake friends, back to people who would love to see me fail
Sorry that I let you down - you witness me prevail
Still the skinny boy with the glasses tilted on his face
Still the dreamer with a plan but in the end now nothing changed
Still the guy who's scared of every person that he meets in life
Still the asshole 'cause my true color stays hidden deep inside
Everybody hates me for no reason - so I gave them one
Staying in the system, waiting for the change to come
Fucking up my education, wasting 4 years of my life
I know the way I treated you everyday was not alright
Type out a paragraph and wonder if I waste my time
Delete it seconds later - rephrase it as a line
Put it on a beat, 'cause this shit is my therapy
The greatest at my craft - is what I bet I'll be
I'm talkin' 'bout rap, movies, books and gaming shit
I don't give a fuck - no matter what I'm making it
For everything my parents did, for everything I had in life
For everything I grew up with, now I am a mastermind
You can call me stupid, can't see half the talents that I have
Give me every try you can I'll show you I'm making bank
Everybody hates me but I am just the way I am
If you fuck me over we'll never be shaking hands
And I would lie if I told you all it's running smoothly
Every moment in my life just feels like a fucking movie
The plot thickens, I see actors come and go
I think now it's the time for me to fuckin' run the show
Still a kid at heart, I'm dreaming big, it's coming true
Overthinking everything, don't know what I wanna do
Don't know what I'm gonna do, but know what I gotta do
It's the time for me, watch out now I'm coming through
Everybody hearing this I'm asking you to take a seat
Listen to my story, ask the questions later, please
Everything I do has reason, everything I say has meaning
Nothing that I've ever gone through in my life was ever pleasing
Push me down the stairs, watch me fall, and get up stronger
Watch me making friends, although it may take longer
Watch me failing miserably, studying and then do better
I am the epitome of someone juggling with letters
That's how life has been forever, I doubt it will ever change
Always have been under pressure, time for me to make some waves
I won't give a fuck if you don't like the things I say to you
Compare us to each other, the difference is I'm making moves
And I don't give a fuck...
(Bridge)
Aight, let's go
(Verse 3)
So this is it, the way to go was never clearer
Build myself a bridge, so I can cross this river
Got so many bars to go, not sure if I can deliver
Dig a little deeper but some topics? They just had me shiver
You would think you know me - but you barely know half of it
People let me in their life and seconds later have a fit
'Cause I'm a shitty person when I am uncomfortable
Usually around people - that's why I'm untouchable
And it's nothing personal, believe me when I say this now
I could never fake a smile, that's why you'll see me frown
Put me against the world, not a single thing could take me down
Don't tell me to smile at you the moment that you see me, clown
Everything I got now compared to what I had before
Is way too much to handle I would rather stay alone
I would rather stay at home, I would rather make a song
Tell some stories 'bout my life - and never let 'em go
Trading friends for music, Friday nights for streaming
Netflix for reading and sleeping for wellbeing
Like everybody hates me now but I don't give a fuck about it
You could never take me down, you keep trying but I doubt it
And to the girl I fell out with, I wonder if you're hearing this
I'm sorry for the days that I would always make you eat my shit
It wasn't right, could never be, I think it's time to let you see
The reason that I'm still here which is you to say the least
I'm not a fool for loving you but for the way I treated you
Pretty disgusting what I said, just know that I feel with you
It's something that I can't change - or make up in any way
Hope you found the one to treat you right for some better day
Everything is changing I don't know if this is right for me
Me showing my feelings is something that you'd fight to see
'Cause every time I show the ones around me that I love 'em
I'm picking the wrong words that'll never be forgotten
Fuck
(Bridge)
Just know that I love you all it's something that I - fuck
(Verse 4)
I feel like Stallone in Rocky, Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump
Running down the stairs and through the alley, it has just begun
Bud Spencer, Terence Hill - it's my time to fuck things up
Mr. Miyagi teaching me everything that I could want
I'm doing what I have to do in order to do what I want
Just because I know, doing what I can is not enough
Creating is priority, laziness a sin to me
I'm living creativity and you look like a mini-me
Fuck
(Break)
(Interlude/Bridge)
And this is for everyone who stuck with me through all these times
Like I wish I could say it - without a thousand rhymes
But I'll admit I never found ways to express myself
So I'm doing it right here and now
(Verse 5)
I'm thankful for every single person that's still in my life
For everybody who was with me during simpler times
Back when bad vibes and feelings would be minimized
And some things I did were dignified
But now the times are changing, vibes are fading
I can't take it, time's invasive, yeah - but in my mind I made it
Lightly blatant, I'm not faking, mind is racing, might not take it
Time to change it, fight me maybe - aah
I know that you see me, pretending you're invisible
I know that you hear me, rhyming all these syllables
I know that you feel me, speaking all these words to you
I know that you hate me, I'm the one who hurt a fool
So this is the end, of everything we've done so far
Backed up in a corner, up against a Wonderwall
Words are written into stone there's no way I could take this back
I am speaking to you - only now through making tracks
(Verse 6)
Everything is going wrong but everything is going right
I'm so scared that eventually - I think I broke my life
And sometimes being quiet just seems like the way to go
But I had to say this shit, and I'm still not making dough
And this is it, I knew this day would come some time
But this is not goodbye I'll see you in another life
Where the skies are bright, purple and the stars align
I just have to say: best regards, this was Bryan
