I Was Rather Disappointed

[Verse 1] I was five years old when I first questioned the value of my life I don't know why the ignorant bliss most kids experience fully missed me but it did My mother was dropping me off at the schoolyard when I asked her if I was a mistake I could tell I disturbed her And though these thoughts run constant yet They were the birth of many troubling years to come [Chorus 1] Please forgive me, mama I know that it killed you inside Your tears weren't for nothing I'm having the time of my life [Verse 2] By the time I was twelve, I was fully convinced I wanted to die I saw no love or beauty in anything My reflection disgusted me and all I had were bad thoughts now My problems felt unimportant and I insignificant in my own home I saw how badly my mother was hurting too The last thing I wanted was to burden her further, so I thought it best I go to sleep for a very long time But when I woke I was rather dissapointed [Chorus 1] Please forgive me, mama I know that it killed you inside Your tears weren't for nothing I'm having the time of my life [Bridge] At sixteen years old I dropped out of school and decided to give the old happy pills a chance Pills didn't seem to help too much though My faculties continued to fail me time and time again It was at my childhood friend's birthday that I really lost it Smashing my head into my poor mothers car I was hospitalised shortly after [Chorus 2] Please forgive me, mama I know that it killed you inside Your tears weren't for nothing I'm having the time of my life Please forgive me, mama I know that it killed you inside Your tears weren't for nothing I'm having the time of my life [Outro] - Hey, Romy, it's your mom Please give me a call I don't know if you want some (?) Me and dad are trying to reach you Making sure everything is okay I'm having the time of my life