That'll Show 'Em

[Verse 1] All my life I had this funny feeling I Will have some kind of deity Select me from obscurity Declare me special in some way And all the pain I made the effort to accumulate I can cash it all in like a casino chip In front of everyone I used to hate [Pre-Chorus] I can't remember the last time I felt happy But that's okay 'Cause it'll make A great talk show story, and [Chorus] That'll learn 'em That'll show 'em That'll make 'em see That'll learn 'em That'll show em That'll make 'em believe [Verse 2] You see that guy? He drinks in here every night He has a piece of paper That he stares at every time I once asked him what it said It says "I owe you I wrote it at twenty-two 'Cause I've known from a young age my Wikipedia page Will be underlined in blue" [Pre-Chorus] He can't remember the last time he felt happy But that's okay 'Cause it'll make A great talk show story, and I can't help but think that maybe I Could be happy If I gave it up, settled down Have a couple of kids, bought a new-build house, then [Chorus] That'll learn 'em That'll show 'em That'll make them see That'll learn 'em That'll show 'em That'll make 'em believe [Outro] And all the non-believers in the local theaters They'll be on their knees And all the happy couples in the Vegas chapel I will set them free And all the emergency parents' evenings Is your daughter eating? Do you ever get the feeling That you've hit your ceiling? La-da-da-da, la-da-da-da Yes, two lucky winners can bed a rockstar Just don't look at me Why aren't you looking at me?