I've been pretending to be somebody else
Since I was just fifteen and I don't know
If the show was for them or for me anymore
I'm not sure
And I don't recall being born
But I remember being underwhelmed when I found out who I was
Because that didn't fit with any of the feelings I'd been feeling
The things I started thinking as a kid who didn't know how to feel
But could instinctively pretend
Put on a show
Was it for them?
I have forgotten where this ends
Blinking in the light
Emerging into something
Something isn't right
Something isn't working
No one on my side
No sense of where I'm standing
Half my fucking life
Caught somewhere inbetween
I have been waiting for someone to say they've found out I'm a fake
A foundling fraudster on the take
A huckster hustling half his name around the world
And I'd reply, goodness knows you're right
I know that guy, that is to say I do not know that man at all
After all, no one can
There's nothing there to know
It's just a show
Oh, the lights are on but nobody is home
They kicked me out years ago
Changed the locks and took my keys
My memories seen through a window like something I don't really own
Blinking in the light
Emerging into something
Something isn't right
Something isn't working
No one on my side
No sense of where I'm standing
Half my fucking life
Caught somewhere inbetween
Is it so much to ask?
To be offered some protection
To be let go by the past
To feel some acceptance
To find somewhere to belong, and something to belong to
A place where I'm allowed
Anywhere but inbetween
Half my fucking life
Blinking in the darkness
Stuck on the outside
Sick and mostly harmless
A stranger to myself
But still chasing their forgiveness for anything I did
When I was somewhere inbetween
Always somewhere inbetween
Lyrics provided by LRCLIB
