Stargazing into the Void

Ghastly, fungoid pallor Emanating from my very breath I remain immobile, unable to interact Nor do I wish to move Lest the spell breaks Of the Black Brew upon my veins Contented silence Forgetting all I once was Unlit, inconceivably abhorrent Who thus ballets around me? But it's not the dance of landsickness Of that hammering, nauseating reality It is something light, funereal Mortuary The six ride the noise The Tome spoke to me about this Far before the first sin What are those steps on the ceiling? Amidst a watch In the middle of nowhere Hurled billions of eons beyond I no longer care to be nameless I was never anything Plates, brimming with snails Oh, I gaze into the void Like a child attempting to count stars Older than time Dismissed Messiahs Spheres of non-euclidean purity What do you feast upon? At what do you laugh? Untainted by existence I see the back of my neck Devolving into primate Then primordial goop Any trace of soul is now gone Sane and awake For the first time Unable to unsee The tapestry within Ineffable void No shame, no guilt, no pain Unburied feverish zest Without a place to occupy As if I had never existed No ground, falling, no gap Yet neither light nor darkness Nor life, nor death Nothing, al last Nothing, at last