Never Getting Laid

We were so happy, why not mix it up? I'm so at peace, yeah, I can't drink enough No way to know just who you're thinkin' of I just wish you didn't have a mind (Ah) That could flip like a switch That could wander and drift To a neighboring bitch When just the other night, you said you need me, what gives? How did it come to this? Boy, I know where you live Baby, I'm not angry Love you just the same I just hope you get agoraphobia some day And all your days are sunny From your windowpane Wish you a lifetime full of happiness And a forever of never getting laid I think this schedule could be very nice (Very nice) Call up the boys and crack a Miller Lite, watch the fight Us girls are fun, but stressful, am I right? (Am I right?) And you've got a right hand anyway (And only yesterday) Was when we called it quits (Called it quits) I was so confident (Confident) 'Til the thought of it hit That any given night, you could be using your lips On a girl with big tits Boy, I know where you live Baby, I'm not angry Love you just the same I just hope you get agoraphobia some day And all your days are sunny from your windowpane (Sunny from your windowpane) I wish you a lifetime full of happiness And a forever of never getting laid (Forever, mm) A forever of never getting laid (Mm, hmm) At the end of the rainbow I hope you find A good whole lot of nothing 'Cause you're still inside And abstinence is just a state of mind