Blossoms have a helpline, if you need help understanding what Blossoms are up to

It's 50% certain to be fine. Or marketing.
Blossoms’ dicking about pretending to be maybe possibly splitting up before eventually revealing a new single-stroke-album-stroke-tour-stroke-something continues apace, with the band setting up a new helpline for any fans “feeling confused” about viral marketing strategy in 2018.

After a video and a bit of amateur dramatics on Twitter, the band have set up the number, which features guitarist Josh Dewhurst. “We have paid therapeutic professionals dealing with this fall out,” he says, “one of them has been on This Morning twice.”

To be fair, the This Morning line is almost worth this whole charade. Almost.

“I just wanted to reassure you that it’s not over yet and I’m 50 percent sure that it’ll be fine”, he concludes.

If you want to join in the mass delusion in the name of thinly veiled hype, call +44-808-2812-482. Or, y’know. Don’t. Up to you, really.

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