Please Stop Talking

You come up to scratch in a beach towel

You come up to scratch in a bar

You look pretty good when you’re smiling

You show all your gums when you laugh

There’s so much to admire about you

I like you as a friend or a pet

But each time that you open your mouth

It spoils the whole effect

Please stop talking, you’re scaring the people away, hey-hey-hey

Please stop talking, you’ve nothing of interest to say, hey-hey-hey

There’s so much to admire about you

I like you as a friend or a pet

But each time that you open your mouth

It spoils the whole effect

Please stop talking, your jaw must be starting to ache, hey-hey-hey

Please stop talking, you’ve shown yourself up as a fake, hey-hey-hey

Please stop talking, you’re peeling the paint off the walls, hey-hey-hey

Please stop talking, all that comes out is pure balls, hey-hey-hey

Please stop talking, that nails-down-a-blackboard voice, hey-hey-hey

Please stop talking, please, while you still have a choice

There’s so much to admire about you

I like you as a friend or a pet

But each time that you open your mouth

It spoils the whole effect