When we heard that Art Brut and We Are Scientists were teaming up for a split Record Store Day 7” under the name WASABI, we said “Oh, that’s cool”. When we were asked if we wanted them to ‘do something’ around it, we said “Yeah, sure!” This group chat transcript is what they sent back. Bands, eh?
WASABI: Messages to this group are now secured with end-to-end encryption.
Eddie Argos created group “WASABI”
Eddie Argos changed this group’s icon
Eddie Argos: Hey!
Eddie Argos: How is that?
Keith Murray: Oooooh, yeeeeeah
Eddie Argos: Huzzah!
Chris Cain: Now we’re cooking with GRAZ
Eddie Argos: Love Graz
Keith Murray: Wait, you’ve been to Graz?! We need tips.
Chris Cain: Got a couple of Hermax beers and bean burgers, so we’re doing PRETTY WELL already, but…
Eddie Argos: I think I was just there in the summer they have like an outside acoustic festival thing nearby
Keith Murray: We accidentally stumbled into a vegan restaurant simply looking for a place to sit and text to you, but our luck can’t hold.
Chris Cain: Me, I’ve got a good feeling about Graz
Keith Murray: We may have done just that festival. I think Adam Green headlined, so they definitely have good taste.
Eddie Argos: We became friends with Nada Surf at it
Eddie Argos: And their singer bought Toby a kebab at the airport
Keith Murray: Sounds like Graz is a hotspot for good things.
Chris Cain: Nada surf are famously generous with cheap food
Keith Murray: We’ve known Matthew for like 15 years and he has NEVER offered us a kebab, so I don’t know what Chris thinks he’s talking about.
Chris Cain: (They personally don’t touch the stuff!)
Eddie Argos: It definitely endeared Matt to Toby
Chris Cain: He gave me some gum once or twice
Chris Cain: And a sticker
Eddie Argos: He gave me a concerned look
Eddie Argos: I was very hungover
Chris Cain: Were you behaving badly?
Chris Cain: Ah
Eddie Argos: We used to play this drinking game called buffalo and the festival got obsessed with and sort of made me their mascot
Keith Murray: We’ve been around a hungover Eddie many times. Still an endearing man, but frail and therefore maybe even more loveable.
Eddie Argos: Or victim
Chris Cain: Rules for Buffalo?
Keith Murray: Oh boy. At that festival, our TM drank a bunch of Adam Green’s booze and fell over backwards, knocking over several candles.
Eddie Argos: If someone says buffalo to you and you are holding your drink in your right hand you have to finish it
Eddie Argos: If you have a drink in your left hand as well they have to finish theirs
Chris Cain: Not really a “game,” per se, is it? That’s just proper manners.
Keith Murray: Thank god I’m left-handed.
Keith Murray: Is the idea that you should always keep a drink hidden in your left hand?
Eddie Argos: True. Fred once buffalo’d me as I was making myself a hot water bottle
Chris Cain: What an asshole!
Chris Cain: And you had to drink the boiling hot water?
Chris Cain: High stakes!
Keith Murray: That’s why you should always make two hot water bottles at a time; one in each hand. Just in case!
Eddie Argos: Anyway that festival loves that game
Chris Cain: I wonder if people ever Buffalo nurses who are drawing blood
Eddie Argos: We came back the next year and they were all rolling around drunk screaming buffalo at each other
Keith Murray: That’s the Art Brut Effect. I feel like that describes our entire tour with you.
Chris Cain: It describes the entire music SCENE post-Art Brut
Eddie Argos: We thought you didn’t drink.
Eddie Argos: I think that was comparative to us though
Chris Cain: Eddie, let me ask you a professional question
Eddie Argos: This is a lot of typing.
Chris Cain: Does it irk you when people pronounce Art Brut so that it rhymes with “butt”? And do you tend to correct them, or let sleeping dogs lie.
Eddie Argos: I’d only ever read the name written down. So I thought it was pronounced like the aftershave
Eddie Argos: But it’s French
Eddie Argos: So the T is silent
Eddie Argos: So we’ve even been saying our own band name wrong
Keith Murray: But you still lay into that T, yourself, right?
Keith Murray: Yep
Eddie Argos: So I’ll forgive but
Chris Cain: Do you get flack in France for that?
Eddie Argos: In France I guess we’re just called ‘Raw Art’
Eddie Argos: Which just sounds like an 80’s new wave band
Keith Murray: Going back to your Buffalo gamesmanship — I do feel like Art Brut’s affection for drinking was what really made us feel a kinship.
Chris Cain: Or a great new Doritos flavor
Keith Murray: I feel like you’re maybe the only lyricist who references casual drinking as often as I try to.
Eddie Argos: That’s true! You do reference casual drinking a lot.
Keith Murray: When I got to the gin reference in She Kissed Me… I felt right at home.
Eddie Argos: I think it was that and our love of gambling
Eddie Argos: ? ? ? ? ?
Keith Murray: Compared to Buffalo, it seems like the stakes of Spinto Dice are pretty low.
Keith Murray: I can lose a couple of dollars, no problem, but Buffalo sounds like the sort of game that chips away days of life.
Eddie Argos: When was that tour? 12 years ago?
Keith Murray: Yeah, 2006 or 2007?
Keith Murray: I’m pretty sure we couldn’t survive a tour with you guys, today.
Eddie Argos: Ours starts next week
Eddie Argos: I’m not sure if I can survive a tour with myself
Chris Cain: You’re a father now— has that tempered your approach?
Eddie Argos: I think we’d be fine
Chris Cain: Having someone depending on your survival?
Keith Murray: Or do you just have a new drinking buddy?
Eddie Argos: I definitely don’t drink like I did in my twenties
Keith Murray: It’s sad. I think about all of the margaritas that need a home, and my belly can’t take them all in, any more
Eddie Argos: That’s made me sad too
Chris Cain: Our collective “laying off” has probably been a big factor in global economic downturn
Eddie Argos: Next time WASABI release a single it should be called ‘sad margaritas’
Keith Murray: If nothing else, it’s made writing lyrics MUCH tougher.
Keith Murray: Maybe it’s not too late to go back to the drawing board on this release?
Eddie Argos: You used to carry a little notebook around and write stuff down in it
Keith Murray: I think I was just always compiling alcohol shopping lists
Eddie Argos: I remember thinking it was a great idea
Eddie Argos: But would constantly lose notebooks when I tried to emulate you
Keith Murray: Did it ever have an effect on you? I gave it up. Every time I tried to shoehorn a pre-written thing into a song, it felt forced and stale.
Eddie Argos: I’m still thinking about Chris’s Raw Art flavored Doritos
Eddie Argos: No I got some good stuff out of it
Chris Cain: I saw one of Keith’s notebooks once: it was 40-something pages of the license plate of some car that had cut him off in traffic months prior
Keith Murray: ??♂
Chris Cain: (Credit to “MacGruber” for that joke)
Eddie Argos: The ‘took me ages to get dressed this morning’ lyric from Alcoholics Unanimous is something I overheard and old lady say in cafe in Norwich
Chris Cain: That’s not surprising
Eddie Argos: You must know the U.K. really well now?
Keith Murray: You immediately recognized her predicament.
Chris Cain: We’re aficionados
Eddie Argos: Do you have a favourite place?
Keith Murray: We’re big fans of Glasgow, but that love is tainted by the associated hangovers.
Chris Cain: Sheffield used to rate low for us, but has skyrocketed in the rankings in recent years, for unaccountable reasons
Chris Cain: Wonderful process in Sheffield
Chris Cain: *progress
Keith Murray: Your old neck of the woods — the Bristol/Bournemouth/Oxford triangle is pretty great.
Chris Cain: “The Honeyed Triangle,” if I’m not mistaken?
Keith Murray: The services at Gloucester is maybe my favorite place in the UK.
Eddie Argos: I remember waking up in your bus in Bournemouth and immediately having to leave back to London as I’d forgotten I was in the middle of recording an album
Chris Cain: Rock stars are just like the rest of us!
Eddie Argos: I line Toddington services. I’m looking forward to seeing it next week.
Keith Murray: I don’t think we know that one. I’m starring it as a “Want To Go” on Google maps, now!
Eddie Argos: Are we supposed to be talking about WASABI? This is all one ginormous pre amble before Ian joins in in a minute right?
Chris Cain: Right!
Chris Cain: So you painted a beautiful tableau for the cover of the vinyl. What were you aiming for with that?
Eddie Argos: It feels like we’re a Monster truck
Chris Cain: Bingo
Eddie Argos: smashing all other bands
Chris Cain: Uh huh
Keith Murray: I really liked your idea of actually labeling the smashed cars with actual band names.
Keith Murray: Like a political cartoon. But actually good and true.
Eddie Argos: I kind of wish we’d done that
Chris Cain: “Coldplay,” “Roots Manuva”
Keith Murray: There weren’t enough cars in the picture to be thorough, is the problem.
Eddie Argos: Wheatus
Chris Cain: “The Strokes,” “Wheatus”
Chris Cain: Yeah!
Chris Cain: I saw your Wheatus before I typed mine
Eddie Argos: Did we both just randomly think Wheatus
Chris Cain: Haha
Chris Cain: I wish
Eddie Argos: Dammmit
Keith Murray: I mean, we definitely all immediately thought Wheatus
Chris Cain: Poor Wheatus. They take soooo much shit already these days
Chris Cain: Now this interview…
Eddie Argos: We should have just written ‘all them other bands’
Eddie Argos: One word each car
Keith Murray: Damn it
Chris Cain: That way nobody’s upset for being singled out
Chris Cain: Deluxe edition for Christmas?
Keith Murray: Push the release back! We’ve got some tweaks!
Chris Cain: Nah, RSD’s one line you can’t mess with
Eddie Argos: Could have also made it the bloody corpses of our enemies
Chris Cain: NSFW!
Chris Cain: Remember, Eddie, our audience is a bunch of working stiffs! They want to be able to bring this record to the office and show it off.
Eddie Argos: Also crushed cars are easier to paint than people
Keith Murray: The cover would make a great tattoo I think. Ian should consider it.
Eddie Argos: This is our second time recording a split single together
Eddie Argos: And the second time publishing people have stopped us using our version of The Great Escape
Keith Murray: The tyranny of the major label system!!
Chris Cain: This is why Music is a second tier art form, a level below basketball and cooking
Ian Catskilkin: ?gentlemen
Eddie Argos: I think Ian is about to join the conversation
Keith Murray: In basketball, it’s GOOD to intercept someone else’s ball and dunk it!
Keith Murray: Daaaaaamn, IAN!
Eddie Argos: But has to read the novel that is this chat first
Keith Murray: He’ll never understand what we all know, now!
Chris Cain: Pull your pants up as the VERY FIRST thing though
Ian Catskilkin: The fuck are you lot taking about? I’m not reading all that, I’m sure I know all about it
Keith Murray: Ian, buddy. Did you sweat a little when you heard the guitar parts you were going to have to work off of, for your cover?
Keith Murray: I know you did.
Ian Catskilkin: Yeah sure
Keith Murray: ??
Keith Murray: Should we wrap the interview up, there?
Chris Cain: A dessert of solid reportage after the huge meal of bullshit
Ian Catskilkin: This is like a cheap All you can eat buffet
Ian Catskilkin: …4 men wait for a punchline…
Keith Murray: It’ll come.
Keith Murray: Don’t force this.
Chris Cain: Uhh… maybe something about horses? That shake anything loose?
Ian Catskilkin: Dude you’ve skipped to the bit where you get home and try and birth that eel
Eddie Argos: We should have finished but I can’t help going back for more?
Ian Catskilkin: Painful and a bit greasy?
Keith Murray: And a breeding ground for disease?
Eddie Argos: I think we have to finish as I have to run to the kita.
Eddie Argos: To get Jake
Keith Murray: We’re also loading into our venue.
Chris Cain: And we’ve got gentleman.’s labors.
Keith Murray: I think we really nailed it, though.
Keith Murray: If this doesn’t move units, nothing will.
Chris Cain: This interview will become the Wikipedia entry for WASABi
Ian Catskilkin: Good evening Camden… we’ve been gentleman’s labours
Eddie Argos: I like you Ian coming in at the end with a cock emoji and some withering sarcasm
Keith Murray: Shoulda been the album title. Push the release!
Eddie Argos: I have no idea how we send this by the way
Ian Catskilkin: Keith lines em up ^^^
Chris Cain: I think from the desktop version of WhatsApp it’s not too hard
Chris Cain: I can research if you guys are too dumb and lazy
Ian Catskilkin: I’m gonna need some food now….
Keith Murray: Surely one of us has a library card, and therefore access to an actual computer.
Keith Murray: Boys, you’re a real pair of gems. ?
Eddie Argos: Have a good show
Eddie Argos: Hopefully see you soon
Ian Catskilkin: Knock em dead dudes!
Ian Catskilkin: Laters… off to the buffet for me!
Chris Cain: See you on the charts!! ?
Keith Murray: Godspeed, men.
Taken from the April issue of Dork, out now. Record Store Day 2019 takes place on 13th April.