Moving to Florida

I'm gonna move down to Florida And I'm gonna bowl me a perfect game I'm gonna cut off my leg down in Florida And I'm gonna dance one-legged off in the rain Well they say that Sidney Poitier was a blind man And they say that LBJ was a Soviet Jew I said, when I go down to Florida way There ain't no kind of sexual healing that I would not, should not, or could not do Said this right here Well I'm movin' down to Florida And you know I'm gonna have to potty train the Chairman Mao And I'm gonna make the governor write my doodoo a letter, child And then I'm gonna grind me a White Castle slider out of India's sacred cow Well, I'm goin' down to Florida, child And I'm gonna build me the atomic bomb I'm gonna hold time hostage down in Florida, child Ain't nobody, ain't nobody gonna tell me what to do Stepchild By this time I guess you've figured out about Florida Turn the muddy water into Vaseline stain They be makin' tadpoles the size of Mercurys in Florida That be tellin' Julio Iglesias what to sing, now Well, whoever said that Sidney Poitier was a blind man Knew the same of Elvis Presley, too 'Cause all the sausages that dance like Ray Bolger on the hood of a car in a traffic jam Know just exactly what to do Right here Well I been goin' to Florida Polecats, they love the Seminole sun 'Cause you know when I'm in Florida Just like Vince, I want it all Well I went down to Florida I got hurt So I took all the children down to Florida And I started to get down in the dirt Well I'm never goin' back to Florida That's why I'm movin' today When I settle down in Florida Well, I’m gonna explode the whole damn Tampa Bay Get that boy in Florida Teach him what to do