[Round 1: Boyz II Men's Wanya Morris]
Oh, oh, these guys are second cousins, which is complicated
'Cause if they're Rascal Flatts fans, then they're probably datin'
Your song "What Hurts the Most" was a real breakthrough
But what really hurts the most is listening to you
I'll be honest, and I'm not tryna be rude
You used to sing scales, now you tip them, too
It took me a second, but look at your crew
Three old white guys — what is this, Fox News?
[Round 1: Rascal Flatts' Joe Don Rooney]
So we're battling Boyz II Men, how do we dare
Step on the favorite band of single grandmas everywhere?
"You're So Hard to Say Goodbye" is incredibly beautiful
You've probably heard it if you've been to a funeral
And here's some food for thought that I'd like you to chew
Your combined weight, how's it more than when there was four of you?
And now you have a Vegas show, I think it's so funny
That a casino found a new way to steal people's money
[Round 2: Boyz II Men's Nathan Morris]
Make fun of our songs, go 'head, that's fine
We sold 60 million records, that's a lot of punchlines
Your first album was self-titled, but no surprise
Your second was called Meltin, and your faces obliged
And Gary, you're a [?], which is truly quite scary
Your frosted tips look like a hick Guy Fieri
And I'd make fun of you two if I thought it would bring shame
But I'll tell ya what, nobody don't even know y'all fuckin' names
[Round 2: Rascal Flatts' Gary LeVox]
Well, call me Guy Fieri, now that's really silly
'Cause, bitch, you look like you ate all cheesesteaks in Philly
So you're on the road with New Kids, now what's that tour called?
"Oh, Here's Some Guys That We Used to Like Who've Now Gone Bald"
And last year you opened for 98 Degrees
Keep up the hard work, boys, maybe next year, Jodeci
Stay workin' casinos to pay down them debts
All 60 million records sold, but mostly cassettes
[Round 3: Boyz II Men's Shawn Stockman]
Took "Life Is A Highway" and made it a smash
Then your life got in a crash and it ran out of gas
All your tracks are covers, it's terribly hokey
Had 16 number ones and it's basically karaoke
This old-man boy band, what's that all about?
The one direction your career is going is down south
But when it comes to country, you're a tradition
Despite the fact you look like a bunch of Republican magicians
[Gary LeVox]
Go "Make America Great Again", buddy
[Shawn Stockman]
Life is a highway
[Round 3: Rascal Flatts' Jay DeMarcus]
You have a residency in Vegas, does that cause some confusion?
Do you play the Mirage 'cause your career's an illusion?
The song "One Sweet Day" is hot fiyah
But it wouldn't be shit if it weren't for Mariah
I remember the '90s, when all your stars burned the brightest
Now you can't get on bended knee, because of arthritis
See, you are over-matched goin' toe-to-toe
So let me be the first motherfucker to say
[Rascal Flatts]
We've come to the end of the road
Still I can't let go (no, no, no, no, no, no)
It's unnatural
[Boyz II Men]
Oh, oh, yo, yo, hey, hold, let's just—
[Nathan Morris]
I just wanna know how it feels to sing a hit
