The Certificate

[Intro: Trials & Suffa (Flak)] Rap cats get served, murdered up, sliced Every single night and that's the way we keep it right Like that fuckers... (YEAH!!) I'm just tricking though Certified Wise in the house tonight (Certified Wise!) Oi, when I say "Certified" you say "Wise" We say Certified (Wise) Certified (Wise) [Verse 1: Suffa] The Certified have arrived, extraordinaire extravagant Beers like confidence, man I'm drinking until I'm arrogant 'Cause I'm a cocky fuck, hit your girl and I knock her up Be like "what the fuck?", in the net like a hockey puck (score!) Rappers get embarrassed when they see the way that we work They try hide their shame like fat guys swimming in T-shirts Research your Oz hip-hop before you step to us And if you step, hands around your throat like a necklace [Verse 2: Trials] Mr Trials, young ladies gimme a call My number's written next to fuck-wit on the chick's bathroom wall I'm slightly easy and a tripe bit sleazy With a wit of a red brick and chiselled body of Kim Beazley My theory is, never touch the mic quite serious A kid goes out on dates later than their next period My crew's got it made, rocking the place With more dope rappers to match every pram chilling at Colonnade's [Verse 3: Edits] It's Certified Wise, no need to tell you again Because these cunts can be so funky that the smell would offend A dyke's girlfriend, well then, let's get straight to the point, shall we? This rowdy crowd of MCs and DJs know how to pound beats Like kids with flat feet and crap beats walking down backstreets So much work went into this the liner notes are fact sheets Like Black Sheep I've got two words for those that slept (nya, Nya nya no respect!) [Verse 4: Mic Lez] You thought it was safe, well guess what? (what?) best to beware My plans will find your weak points (then what?) get up in there Attack your mind, with a fine rhyme when I find time And I'll find out if you're walking if you're talking the grape vine I'll waste time. Need to take on the job at hand The skills for this professional typical certified wise man From sky to land, I'm overcoming all your schemes and plans So take cover as I rain thunder upon you man [Scratches: [?]] "I manifest hip-hop in its highest degree" "Certi—fied" "Hip-hop's something I take very seriously" "I so—socialise" "Certified" "Wise" [Verse 5: Headlock] Every song's a collection of kids' scarred lives Like the porn section of Gary Glitters hard drive Certified Wise throws agendas so hot It'd make a married man give up his annual blowjob You better show something, with Heady no bluffing On the wrong side of my tracks, I'll smash your petticoat junction In a suffering city, I'm punishing the pretty And if you don't fucking kill me I'll crush you without pity [Verse 6: Blockade] I arrange certain words amongst silence To be heard in abundance while MC's face redundance Stereo speakers exceed beyond specifications Through extended noise generations Let's cut the conversations to a small chat (Why's that?) I'm busy tryna react to the hi-hats Blockade and Certified stand tall above ridiculous under-achievers And constant non-believers (believers) [Verse 7: Sesta] I'm on stage with a handful of Panadols handing them out 'Cause of the head throbbing from the head nodding And we about putting you out for the count like mic check You ain't gonna get Certified respect So hide your decks, your mics I might blackout In a cipher when I still take the title The name's Sesta, I snatch an 'L' plate And slap it on your forehead with more force than porn sex [Verse 8: DJ Debris] It's the Hoodhist monks with the certified MC's I'll make you nod your head like Parkinson's disease So stand at ease, but don't step to our clique I got a hundred metronomes just waiting to go sick So take your pick, but not the axe or the shovel After hours, I make beds rock like Barney Rubble It's kinda subtle the way that my flow pours And leave your ears up shit creek without a Funkoar [Verse 9: Flak/Fatface] Now Certified Wise got a hold of ya We got the whole lot o' crop of magnolia We're the fresh B-boys in Nike and Adidas We're hotter than heaters and blowing up speakers There's no half-steppers, we're far from a fake crew We make rap music every Aussie can relate to We'll never take a tumble, We're not gonna stumble If you diss any member the result is "let's rumble" [Scratches: [?]] "Let me show you new rappers how to do a posse record" "Let me show you new rappers how to do a posse record" "Let me show you new rappers how to do a poss—poss— Posse re—re—re—record" [Verse 10: Simplex] Complex compliments this simple, to complete this individual Simplex the original beat, the hypocritical Ridicule, the weaker techniques that leave you burnt Like cannabis sativa, either You do or you don't, we'll prove that you won't Ever endeavour to get it together to better these fellas I'll be like whatever You get it? You're wondering why you should never try The reason Certified is Mr Nice with the wise guys [Verse 11: Expressionist] These crews stress, fully on a quest to be Recognised, put up on a level next to me And the Wise unified our lives, we bless the beat We yet to see competitors who can compete with Elaborate schemes they conjured up in their dreams Have to be outta your mind to even battle this team Masterminds of the game, nobody does it the same When we leave the stage we're sure that you remember the name [Verse 12: Kolaps] You faggot MCs always compare one another Studio 2000's where you shot your album cover I provide patience to your shit dictation Then commence domestic MC word castration Like exitless effects from a psychedelic wanger For you there's no escape like sperm in a franger Simulated imitations fade away progressively So go fuck yourself hermaphrodite MC [Scratches: DJ Dyems] "Yo this is DJ" "Dyems" "Representing" "Certified Wise" [Verse 13: Trauma] A dietarian, pages down, lyrical librarian My strong line is carnivore, your line was vegetarian Comparing them, I'm tearing them in two so don't you dare me then Comparing them with them, I'm bringing heat like a solarium You're staring then, you better step back while I'm preparing them Certified lyrical delegates are all the sound-ions Rebellions under one banner for new milleniums The south is certified, it's so good like Sanitarium [Verse 14: Integer/Artistik Intalekt] I throw tempo-tempos, to scare those who dare oppose Who don't compare the pros, I'm dressed in threadbare clothes Still these rare flows got MCs pleading "Give us a fair go!" Try to stop me, you don't realise the lengths to which I'm prepared to go We should take a short journey and leave you at your wits-end You get burnt like you're smoking a cigarette from the lit end You're acting so feminine, you could be stressing about split-ends Certified hit home with so much force they make bricks bend [Verse 15: Hons] The situation gets sticky like a perv with porn mags My presence on stage will make your trailer horse gags Staunch cat, horn bag, you know my style sucker And that we make tracks to get you up like a fluffer Certified wise, notorious to rip cunts Dissing us will get costly like private shows at strip clubs Beating me's a hard task by itself so fuck you 'Cause that's a fantasy like anal sex with Eliza Dushku [Verse 16: Pressure] This is my life and many come and go like one night stands I treat live jams like a sermons, and in my mic hand A holy get them ya bless ya, shit you never spit The fresher shit than Pressure any means, risk or measure This cut is deep, so pump a beat for my fucking peeps I'm graded, X-rated the way that I come with tongue and cheek We bring the ruckus like truckers in bar brawls Certified Wise and we out like last calls