Stuck in Daily Mail Land

You won't believe what I read in the paper this morning But it's true, there's no smoke without fire, their reporting never fails I just can't wait till it drops through the box in the morning It's my treat for the day, with the wife, she's still yawning As we read everyday, it's the truth, no distorting, never tales Stuck in Daily Mail Land Stuck in Daily Mail Land But you don't understand Some people knock it, I know, but for me it's the bible I believe every word guarantees my survival, I'm a fan I just don't care what they say, just be sure I don't listen To the lies that they say, that the paper's on a mission Cause the wife and me agree to ignore all the negatives we can Stuck in Daily Mail Land Stuck in Daily Mail Land But you don't understand Stuck in Daily Mail Land But you don't understand I never read all the rest, it's a test of my loyalty Don't need any more, I get bored with variety I'm sure You know I've read every day, come what may, since my puberty My Ma and my Pa used to swear it's validity How can you suggest, or molest, it's sincerity is pure Stuck in Daily Mail Land Stuck in Daily Mail Land But you don't understand Stuck in Daily Mail Land But you don't understand