Once an Addict (Interlude)

Right, right, right, right Something's got a hold on me Right, right, right, right Sometimes I think pain is just a lack of understanding If we could only understand it all, would we feel no pain? God must feel no pain Something's got a hold on me Only joy Does this mean even our suffering pleases him? Lost in a cloud of marijuana Young Carolina nigga, fish out of water Step-daddy just had a daughter with another woman Mama ain't recover yet Callin' me at 12 at night She drunk as fuck and I'm upset 'Cause why she always using me for crutch? Growin' up I used to always see her up Late as shit, cigarette smoke and greatest hits from Marvin Gaye She kill a whole bottle of some cheap chardonnay I gotta leave this house 'cause part of me Dies when I see her like this Too young to deal with pain I'd rather run the streets than see her kill herself So 'Ville became my escape from a feelin' I hate Mama cursing me out Depression's such a villainous state I used to stay out later on purpose Subconsciously I was nervous that if I came home early Then what would surface was her inner demons And then I'd have to end up seein' my hero on ground zero Tears flow while Al Green blow Love and happiness I wish that I could say the right words to cheer her up I wish her son's love was enough I tell her, "Mama, go to sleep" She tell me "Boy, hush You better pray to God you never get your heart crushed" I shake my head in frustration Head to my room and I can still hear the tunes with my door shut Fuck it though, a couple more months I'll be gone Off to college and dorms Foolin' myself, thinkin' problems are gone But now it's 1:00 a.m. and my mama dialin' my phone I know she intoxicated and soon this high that I'm on comes crashin' down She lit, talkin' drunk shit, I'm pissed But I'm still all ears like Basset hounds Thinkin' to myself, "Maybe my mama need help Don't she got work it the morning? Why she do this to herself? Hate how she slurrin' her words Soundin' so fuckin' absurd This ain't the woman I know Why I just sit and observe? Why don't I say how I feel? When I do, she's defensive for real Well, maybe things get better with time, I heard it heals" Little did I know how deep her sadness would go Lookin' back, I wish I woulda did more instead of running Something's got a hold on me I can't let it go Out of fear I won't be free Something's got a hold on me I can't let it go Out of fear I won't be- No Something's got a hold on me I can't let it go Right Life can bring much pain There are many ways to deal with this pain (right) Choose wisely (right)