Stay cool, learn to swim
I only started learning last year, now I'm 42
And if you already know how to swim, good for you
This is for all the people behind you
Stay cool, learn to swim
Nah, mate, you're not too heavy
Your bones are not too dense
Pennywise was right
In the end, everyone floats
Stay cool, learn to swim
Your skin will thank you
Your mind will thank you
And if there's blood in the water
Sharks will thank you
Don't swim in the River Thames
Nobody asked you to do that
Some things will always be true
The sun always sets in the west
Right now will always be as good as it gets
Romeo and Juliet is tragic
Time is wasted on worrying
And everyone is made of pure, unadulterated magic
Except for Boris Johnson
Trans men are men, trans women are women
Some things by now should be a given
It looks worse when it's online
Facebook is not research no matter the hours you spent on it
There are no solutions at the bottom of a doomscroll
And you're never at your best
When you are looking at someone else's highlight reel
Time heals all wounds and makes new ones
But a hot shower will cure 99 percent of bad vibes, trust me
You should be nice to yourself
You should be nice to people, except for Nazis
No one should never be nice to Nazis
There are so many ways to be yourself
Just don't get lost in the options
All the paper straws in the world won't save a single polar bear
But making Amazon pay their proper taxes could
And all your idols will let you down, except for Keanu Reeves
Because Keanu Reeves is perfect
You don't have to like Pink Floyd
You don't have to like Prince
None of it is by force
Every elder is a village
But some villages are full of racists
And aren't worth the visit
Protect your peace, cherish your joints
Eat your fruits and vegetables and mind your business
Don't be afraid to dress like an idiot at least once in your life
Embrace your cringe, embrace your cringe
New York is nice, but you should try Benin City
If they won't let you start a union, join a mafia
The means you cannot seize, you should steal
If you love doing a thing, and you're not hurting anyone or yourself
Do the thing, don't let anyone stop you doing the thing
If you love shoplifting from department stores, do the thing
Department stores aren't people
Sometimes the answer is to sleep on it
Sometimes you need to face it head on
Sometimes it's scarier in your head, and when you stop running
You realize the monster was a shadow all along
Your heart will be broken
And you will break hearts
When the dust settles in your spirit
Do not forget to forgive yourself
Call all the friends you've fallen out with
Tell them you miss them
Dying right is overrated
But that does not mean you should down a bottle of Merlot
And text your former lover
Nothing good will come from that
Recognize the difference between alone and lonely
More often than not, you won't resolve all loose ends
Your life isn't that kind of movie
It's more of a rambling soap opera
That will eventually run out of budget
And I hope you get old
I hope when you get old, compassion is cool again
And if you're lucky, one day you'll wake up
And you'll be out of the zeitgeist eye
And you won't recognize the music
You'd rather go to bed at 10
Your pleasures will be gentler, your movements slow
Your goalpost shifted, your former burdens slightly lifted
And that's okay, it happens to most of us
Maybe by then you would have stayed cool
Maybe you'd could do something else with your life
Like learn to swim
