dwell on the guilt of saving myself

All my life I made mistakes about the days We stayed up late too drunk to try to numb the pain We didn't treat each other nicely Didn't read the room precisely Oh well You said you'd promise to love me just the same But all you did is make me feel ashamed Never meant to say those things while I was high Thoughts keep me up at night Sharing feelings while we're fried Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself When everything is good I feel like I'm somebody else And the sick loves the sick, but I'm sick of the dying Where's the shame in wanting to get out? Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself All the while I sit and smile 'Cause they're my friends, right? They deserve the hype, right? Deserve me staying up all night, right? Like when you told me you'd be there for me Sending concerning texts about my ex Blank checks never spent for the sake of love and context Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself When everything is good I feel like I'm somebody else And the sick loves the sick, but I'm sick of the dying Where's the shame in wanting to get out? Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself Everybody knows now Can't keep my friends 'round I got a sore throat from screaming at 'em too loud Yeah, everybody knows now Can't keep my friends 'round I got a sore throat from screaming at 'em Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself When everything is good I feel like I'm somebody else And the sick loves the sick, but I'm sick of the dying Where's the shame in wanting to get out? Now all I do is dwell on the guilt of saving myself