Freaky Tales

These are the tales, the freaky tales These are the tales that I tell so well I met this girl, her name was Joan She loved the way I rocked on the microphone When I met Joan, I took her home She was just like a doggy all on my bone I met another girl, her name was Ann All she wanted was to freak with a man When I met Ann, I shook her hand We еnded up freakin' by a garbage can Thе next young freak I met was Red I took her to the house and she gave me head She liked to freak is all she said We jumped in the sheets and we broke my bed There's another girl, her name is Mary Talked about sex and the girl acted scary I heard she was freakin' for my homeboy Jerry Took her to the house and I popped that cherry Young and tender, sweet Denise Get her in the bed and the girl's a beast I tell you, homeboy, if you get a piece She'll only start talking about signin' the lease I met this tender, her name was Lori An x-rated movie wouldn't tell her story She had a twin sister, her name was Lisa And just like Lori, she's a real dick pleaser My girlfriend's name was Michelle Her booty was bigger than a tell on the well When I freaked Michelle, I freaked her well Her pussy got hotter than the flames in hell I geed this girl, her name was Tammy I didn't wanna do it 'cause the bitch was flammy She had a best friend, her name was Jane I pulled her to the side and I spit that game I met a lot of freaks in my life span Freaked one night with a girl named Pam The very next day I saw her with her man One week passed and I was in her again I had an old tender, her name's Janie She was thirty-two and I was only eighteen She likes to freak, she's just a fiend It really didn't matter when I saw her in jeans I wanna big freak, fat and slobby I'll kick on back and watch her mouth Two tons of fun, big mama jama A country-girl from Alabama I met this freak, her name was Betty Her pussy got wet and it smelled like death I was tired as hell, I was drippin' sweat But I was all up in her tryin' to hold my breath Bake and shake us, I met this freak in Vegas She said her name was Donna She was a filthy little freak from China I said, "I don't pimp or gigolo I'm havin' so much money, I don't need a hoe You can break yourself but you can't break me You never met a player like $hort, baby" I knew a dick sucker named Betty-Jo Took her to my house and we did it on the floor The girl got freaky and I'll tell you more She was down on her knees beggin' to blow She's like another freak named Renee You get her alone and she'll make your day Like Burger King, she knows the play But a freak like Renee, you can have it your way These are the tales, the freaky tales These are the tales that I tell so well These are the tales, the freaky tales These are the tales that I tell so well I met this girl, thick as hell Only sixteen, said her name was Linell I took her to my house, I could not wait Her shit was much tighter than a central safe Let me tell you this since we're talkin' young I met another girl, said her name was Yvonne Always talkin' about havin' fun Once again at the pad I had it goin' on I'm Sir Too $hort, couldn't be no punk I'm tryna get funky like female funk So when you see me comin' or see me goin' I keep my money, let the hoes keep throwin' I once met a hooker, she did it for free On the foothill bust number forty-three All the way in the back she was workin' me Had my big beatbox and I was jammin' the beat I met this freak named Antoinette Macked on baby like an ice-cold vet Everythin' she had is what I get 'Cause I'm Too $hort, baby, I don't play that shit I met another freak, her name was Rita Baby thought that $hort just might eat her I told her like this, she can suck my peter Or even go home 'cause I knew I didn't need her Scratched her name off my telephone book Never again, I took a second look 'Cause the next young freak, her name was Sharon She kept lookin', well, I kept starin' Baby came through with my homeboy Darren Her booty was stuffed in the jeans she was wearin' She never left, he cut out I know you all know what I'm talkin' about There's a freak named Shannon, such a sinner She smokes that pipe and she's gettin' thinner Shannon is cool but her mind is gone One fat rock and it's goin' on She had another buddy, came by my place Thick ass bitch, said her name was Grace She walked in the door workin' a lace You shoulda seen that look that was on my face She's like this tender named Belinda The homeboys call her Belinda the Blender She gave head like she made it up She was twenty years old with a big round butt Had a girl like olive oil Her father was rich and the girl was spoiled When she got mad, her blood would boil But I wrapped her all up like alluminium foil These are the tales, the freaky tales These are the tales that I tell so well Shake if you like, Friday night, it's goin' on, Too $hort Three weeks ago I met this freak She followed me around like Mary's sheep I hid around the corner and when she came I grabbed her by the arm and I asked her name She said it was Anita, her man's in Santa Rita I took her to my house and homeboy, I geed her Sent her on her way the very next day Playboy $hort was ready to play I bumped to this girl, her name's Rosanne We hit the motel and had it goin' on Holiday Inn to the break of dawn When I took baby home, I freaked her mom I knew this tender named Cherie I took her to my house and let her freak on me Baby was a fan, she loved my beat But I wouldn't raise my leg and let her kiss my feet I met this freak named Yolanda Rolled baby doll like a brand new Honda I was on top, she was up under The bed hit the wall and it sounded like thunder I once had a date with girl named Kitty She was so fine with her big fat titties All night long she was actin' shitty So I macked on baby like I was Frank Nitti There's another girl, her name is Rose I use to ride baby like brand new Volvos I never saw Rose wearin' clothes She's a pimp house pet, ready to pose I was ridin' down the street when i met Janet Her booty was bigger than the whole damn planet Ass everywhere, I just can't stand it Tried to pom it but I could not manage I had this freak, her name was Bunny Said I'm the only man who ever called her honey Everything I did to her was funny I macked on bunny and I took her money Eight tonight, a date with Shirley She was real short and her hair was curly If you saw baby, you'd like this girlie She was so fine, I went to get her early Shirley was freakin' like a girl named Rachel Her bite was vicious and it sure was fatal She liked to kiss all on my naval Those are her lips on top of my label I knew another freak, her name was Candy Real big lips and they came in handy I smooth got worked and it was so dandy I hooked the broad up with my homeboy Randy He did me a favor in return Gave me a lizard, said her name was Laverne Baby got tossed, then I got on I grabbed the microphone and started singing my song My young homeboy heard me rap And said he had way more freaks than that So I told him like this, they might be freakin' But, boy, you never had that TP treatment