An Actuary Retires

Nobody came to my retirement party Nobody cares when you're on your way out Inconsequential and oh, so replaceable All along I thought I would've left with more than nothing to show I once was hailed as the prince of invention I once was cast as a modern Galois Nobody came to my retirement party All along I thought I would've left with more than nothing to show I place my things in a cardboard box Swiftly struck by a swiveling shard of the past Schoolyard voices swirling around The other kids: aspiring firemen and ballerinas Me: walls plastered with equations Out to prove or disprove the magnetic monopole Swim far from thought's shallows Hold experiments, teach classes Then someone said "There's no money in that! Quick wit to pick apart fiction from fact You've got brains, kid, go make some cash!" With neon dollar-sign eyeballs Hollowed-out heart, I'm placing bets on life or death Listless drips seep through the teeming weeks And I lose respect for myself Hope is the last of the spirit to falter Hope is a weight that drags from within And if I'd known in the end it was worth it I would've followed that hope to begin