Drunk By Noon

There once was a poodle who thought he was a cowboy

He lived in a cage the size of his thumb

And, though his white horse was a box of toothpicks

He galloped around 'till he was hit by a car

Sometimes I flap my arms like a hummingbird

Just to remind myself I'll never fly

And sometimes I burn my arms with a cigarette

Just to pretend I won't scream when I die

If my life was as long as the moon

I'd still be jealous of the sun

If my life lasted only one day

I'd still be drunk by noon

Yes, I'd still be drunk by noon

Sometimes I hope to come down with cancer

At least then I'll get to stay in bed and watch TV all day

And on my deathbed I'll get all the answers

Even if all my questions are taken away

If my life was as long as the moon

I'd still be jealous of the sun

And if my life lasted only one day

I'd still be drunk by noon

I'd still be drunk by noon