Grandma's Song

[Spoken BILLY]

Grandma, do you really not remember about granddad?

[Spoken GRANDMA]

'Course I do!

How could I forget your granddad, Billy

We were married thirty-three year

[Spoken BILLY]

So what was like like

[Spoken GRANDMA]

He was a complete . . . Bastard!

[GRANDMA]

I hated the sod - for thirty-three year

We should never have married of that I'm quite clear

He spent the housekeeping money on whiskey and beer

And never lifted a finger

Times were hard, but the swine rolled back pissed

So we'd fight and he'd swing and he rarely missed

So I'd clobber the sod when he couldn't resist:

Asleep, you can't lift a finger

But we'd go dancing

And he'd hold me tight

He was air, He was water, He was breath, He was light

And he would hold me there, with all his might

And it was bliss for an hour or so

But then they called time to go

And in the morning we were sober

O he'd drink and he'd talk just like a fool

Lie like a bairn and snore like a mule

Rarely was sober, pretty much was the rule

And he never lifted a finger

I suppose times were hard, things were different then

Women were women and men, they were men

Seventeen, that was it, your life ended when you had a ring around your finger

But we'd go dancing, he was me own Brando

And for a moment there my heart was a-glow

We had dust in our hair and nowhere to go

Boo we were free for an hour or three

From the people we had to be

But in the morning we were sober

But if I went through my time again

Oh I'd do it without the help of men

Or at least your Grandad

But then again, you know

Best not to linger

What is the use of dreaming now?

I had my chance, well anyhow

If I'd only known then what I know now

I'd've given them all the finger

And gone dancing, and not give a shit

And spin around and reel and love each bit

And I'd dance alone and enjoy it

And I'd be me for an entire life

Instead of somebody's wife

And I never would be sober

And I never would be sober