’Twas the Night Before Christmas

[Verse]

It was the night before Christmas

When all through the house

Not a body was stirring

Did I say my house?

My stockings were hung by the chimney with care

In the hopes that my new man soon will be there

And my bro and his diddy and I andy my cat

I just settled down for a long winter's nap

When out of the lawn

There rose such a clatter

I said, Mm I hardly get to see what was the matter

But to my wandering eyes

What should appear

A  silver and black Bentley

With a [?] man

Stepping lively and quick

I knew immediately

It was not St. Nick

And right through my front door

He was dressed in black diamond

From up to down

A bundle of gifts he had

What did I get?

As I squealed opening the package

The same old shit

I'm not ungrateful!

I shouted as he backed out of the front door

My sincerity he doubted

But I heard him exclaim

As he drove out of sight

Hey! You hell of a woman

I said, Shout it right!