Technology

[Intro: Barbra Streisand]

Now, you see this screen that comes in and out

And doing all this complicated stuff here?

It got more rehearsal than I did

I swear, a lot more

Now everything on this set is automated

You know they use, um, hydraulics, it's, it's really scary

They say that you can make things appear or disappear with a clicker

Say, like I can make this screen disappear, watch

No, no, no, no, that's the wrong clicker

No, not the chair, chair, I need my chair back, bring the chair back

Come on

[Skit: Barbra Streisand & Randee Heller]

Barbra, stand up tall and stop fidgeting

Ma, (I) what are you doing here?

I brought you a nice sandwich

I'm not hungry

You look too thin

I'm not too thin

It's a nice chicken salad sandwich (All right, maybe I'll have it later)

I need a mother clicker herе (You know, you promised me)

A nice sеat in the orchestra

But this is ridiculous (Mute, mute, mute, mute)

Maybe Marvin wants a sandwich

[Outro: Barbra Streisand]

Seriously, this is so technically overwhelming it reminds me of my house

Remember the good old days, B.C., before clickers?

When you had to actually get up to change a channel?

You know, when, when you could turn up the volume with a knob?

Do you remember knobs?

You remember Channel 4?

Do you remember when it was just 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, 11, and 13?

Do you remember?

Channel 2 was Ed Sullivan, Channel 4 was Milton Berle

That was it, they were there, they were always there

You could count on them, you know?

Then there's twenty-four hour news shows

How did information get around in the old days

I mean the really old days, you know?

About the most powerful people in the world

Like Buddha, Jesus, Moses

I mean, these are big names

I mean, what did they do before CNN?

It was word of mouth before technology