Never Do Anything

[Verse 1]

Wiped out down the stairs

I'll bet you there's a song in there

I'm not sure I'm prepared

To write it down

That guy should be me

I'd look much better on TV

Then the world would see

That I can do anything

[Chorus]

I can be that, but soon you'll see that

I will never do anything

[Verse 2]

Let's play tic-tac-toe

I'll play X, you can be the O

Thoughts of turning pro

Have crossed my mind

I could make a mint

Fill my pockets with more than lint

I'll give you a hint

It involves the internet

[Chorus]

I can be that, but soon you'll see that

I will never do anything

I can be that, but soon you'll see that

I will never do anything

[Bridge]

Don't write me off as an also ran

Just mark me down as an angry man

Got a big chip, you want a fat lip?

How 'bout a mouthful of Chiclets?

Life passed me by, but it's not my fault

I'll lick my wounds, could you pass the salt?

[Chorus]

I can be that, but soon you'll see that

I will never do anything

I can be that, but soon you'll see that

I will never do anything

[Interlude]

If I were the king

All my subjects, they would dance and sing

They could kiss my ring

And kiss my ass

[Verse 3]

When I'm old and grey

I'll look back on my life and say

"Give me one more day

And still I'll never do anything"

[Chorus]

I can be that, but soon you'll see that

I will never do anything

I can be that, but soon you'll see that

I will never do anything

I can be that, but soon you'll see that

I will never do anything

I can be that, but soon you'll see that

I will never do anything!