Splitting Hairs

The torso of my toy wrestler is too loose
And you're trying to feed me kind words through a poop chute
Quit it, I can smell the waste
It elevates into the air, I swear, it's up there
Doing a jig upside down on a glass ceiling
And on the other side, there's Billy Mays
Kneeling down giving it a streak-free shine
But when I show him the footprints he ignores me each time

I catch sight of myself sliced in seven angles
Been quantized and baptized, but understand that
Maybe one day in a couple of years
God be like "Fuck it, I've been splitting hairs"
I catch sight of myself sliced in seven angles
Been quantized and baptized, but understand that
Maybe one day in a couple of years
God be like "Fuck it, I've been splitting hairs"

I get it, it's not your problem, you've ascended
We're swimming in outrage and gluten-free chicken
Gawker articles, copious photographs of kittens, and
"Listen to my mixtape!"
That was a request, not commentary
The similarity of our struggle is kinda scary
Iapapa Berries are my art
Some life for nerds, but turds to those confused by tart remarks

I catch sight of myself sliced in seven angles
Been quantized and baptized, but understand that
Maybe one day in a couple of years
God be like "Fuck it, I've been splitting hairs"
I catch sight of myself sliced in seven angles
Been quantized and baptized, but understand that
Maybe one day in a couple of years
God be like "Fuck it, I've been splitting hairs"

I'm at my weakest
Reading RapGenius
Trying to make sense of myself
Dispensing my health to these beings
I'm not even sure that I'm seeing
Peeing on the side of the bowl
My roommate is sleeping next to the girl
Who's creeping with him
Because her guy does art and only makes about $8.99
Christ, me and that guy would be best pals
But I should keep it down, they're having sex now

I catch sight of myself sliced in seven angles
Been quantized and baptized, but understand that
Maybe one day in a couple of years
God be like "Fuck it, I've been splitting hairs"
I catch sight of myself sliced in seven angles
Been quantized and baptized, but understand that
Maybe one day in a couple of years
God be like "Fuck it, I've been splitting hairs"

Splitting hairs
Splitting hairs
Maybe one day in a couple of years
God be like "Fuck it, I've been splitting hairs"