Kanye West "Roast" Before Show

Everywhere... I'm like.. fuckin' like the grannies monthly page. "Singer for Slipknot rips Kanye West a new fuckin' asshole." Now the beautiful thing, the beautiful thing about this is as much as I have that kind of going for me cause all my fuckin' fans were like, "Fuck yeah, dude! Fuck him!" There's the other side of that where the Kanye West fans: none too pleased. This fuckin', this one kid who was, he was precious to me, he just goes, "Umm, neither are you?" I don't know... there was a fuckin' question mark at the end of it, right... he's like, "I'm Ron Burgundy?" I'm like, dude if you're gonna cut me down at least be sure of yourself, like "NEITHER ARE YOU, FUCKER!" I could respect that, you know? Then there was this thing... every comment has been the same. They can't come at me with like, "Yo you wear a fuckin' Halloween mask, what the fuck do you know? You look like a fuckin' rooster, like a punk rock rooster." They've said the same fucking things like, "Well, you know, he's got more Grammys than you have albums, LMAO." I'm like, that, THAT's your insult? That's how you're comin' at me? Alright, hold on a second, um, you're a fan of Kanye West. I kind of automatically win. Dickhead. I don't fuckin' get it, how do you fuckin'... shit... how do you fuckin' call yourself, how do you, okay how do you have the fuckin' stones to call yourself the, and I'm quoting here, "The greatest living rockstar of all time" and then proceed to fuck the words up to "Bohemian Rhapsody"? Oh,  by the way, in the fuckin' country it was written, you dolt. He was too busy tryin' to look bummed to remember that, "Oh, fuck, these people are English. Queen was English. They're gonna rip me to shreds." It all started, you know, and I wouldn't have as much issues with him if he wasn't so fucking busy trying to look so put on by the fact he has everything in his fucking life, and he just can't be fuckin' bothered to enjoy it. Are you fucking kidding me? You fuckin' asshole, really? I keep comin' back to this .gif of him, have you guys seen it? It's fucking amazing, it's at the basketball game. And he's hanging out, right, he's hanging out and fuckin' laughing, "I got a friend!" He's sittin' next to me, we're fuckin' laughing. The camera's here and he goes like... He's stoked! He went from stoked to to dick like (snaps fingers) that. How do you do that? What the... I can't even fuckin' do that and I've acted in a movie (not well.) Not well, but I can fuckin', you know, I can fuckin' ...... you know? This fuckin' guy, I mean, it's like a switch. Dude he's like (imitates laughing, followed by mean face.) He's got that look like he's pissed off at math, you know? Like he's trying to figure some shit out, right, he's just like "I didn't change the fuckin' batteries in my fuckin' calculator. I got fuckin' algebra today." Fuckin' asshole, man, Jesus fuckin' Christ. And he's like... look, we know, we get it, you married a Kardashian. Sorry. You married a woman who can do shit that's amazing like balance a fucking champagne glass on her big dumb ass. Which, by the way is the absolute peak of her talent fuckin' score. Oh I'm fuckin' pissed off now. I can't, you know what, I can't blame myself, I gotta blame Music Choice cause those motherfuckers know exactly what buttons to push on me. They just kept fuckin' windin' me up, it's like, "So you wanna talk about Taylor Swift?" Not that they were walkin' fuckin' weird.. "Wanna talk about Man of Steel?" I don't get it, I don't fuckin' get it. How do you have everything, everything, anything you could ever fuckin' want, with the exception of talent. How could you have everything you fuckin' want and be that fuckin' miserable in your fuckin' life, are you fuckin' kidding me? Put your fuckin' toys down and go the fuck home, you fuckin' prick. At this point, you're lucky anyone talks to you, let alone buys your fuckin' album. You know, I mean yo wanna talk about jumpin' the shark, you jumped Kim Kardashian. So yeah, this last 24 hours has been very interesting for me

Continues into rant about selfie sticks