How To Get Rid Of A Dead Body (Skit)

[Alan Ford]

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece

Apparently, the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together

And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them

Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs

You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead

You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion

You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you?

They will go through bone like butter

You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm

They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes

That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute

Hence the expression, "As greedy as a pig."