Wayne Brady vs. Jake Owen

[Round 1: Jake Owen]

Wayne does it all, such talent is rare

He can do absolutely anything, except keep his hair

Or a show on-air, you're a walking toolbox

You make white folks more comfortable than a pair of Birkenstocks

Your rap's so weak, I'm about to eat you for lunch

You're a ratings killer, the weakest of the Brady Bunch

You dance, you can sing, you can play any part

But the one thing you can't ever be is as famous as Kevin Hart

[Round 1: Wayne Brady]

Battle a country star? I was down with that

Battle Jake Owen? Who the hell is that?

Your music, I'd rather listen to Bieber

Or drink Kool-Aid with Donald Trump watching Jungle Fever

Jake the fakey, achy-breaky, made a mistake-y

Your "jokes," jokes in air quotes, your shit is kinda shaky

I'm bald, white people like me, same old thing

Let's make a deal, I'll grow my hair back when you learn how to sing

[Round 2: Jake Owen]

Well, you're a kid-friendly nerd, man, way easy to beat

What block are you repping, Wayne, Sesame Street?

An awful career, now you sure know how to pick it

The difference between me and you, man, is I actually sell tickets

I'm taking you out and there ain't no turning back

The only soul in Wayne Brady is right there in your—

(Oh, you got that patch, you took it off...)

And I see you dancing on a game show, it makes me sad

Little kids watch and they're like, "Man, is that Nick Cannon's dad?"

[Round 2: Wayne Brady]

We're both entertainers, why fight?

We both have Grammy nominations — oh, you don't, yeah, right

I like your first single, I do admit

When I heard this dude's single, I said, "Yeah, that's some shit"

And I meant what I said, ain't that some shit?

I heard you used to golf, you should've stuck with it

When they said my name, you know you should'a hid, man

You could never do all the things that I did, man

In your life, never underestimate the kid, man

You wanna be Keith Urban, bitch, you more Nicole Kidman

[Wayne sets down the mic]

[Jake Owen]

Oh, you better pick it back up. You're gonna need it, man. Alright

[Round 3: Jake Owen]

Well, Wayne Brady, man, I ain't gotta take this

You recorded hundreds of songs, bitch, ya ain't never had a hit

When I see you on TV, I wanna change the channel stat

You're like a Jeff Dunham puppet, bringing boring comedy back

Man, I've been known to improv and turn you into magic

So here's a suggestion for you, Wayne: bitch, walk into traffic

And all the shit you're sayin', man, it sounds so crazy

You think you're "Wayne Brady, bitch", you're a bitch, Wayne Brady

[Wayne Brady]

That is true. That is true. That is true. Hey, Josh. Josh, give me something like a...

[Beatboxer Josh Silverstein matches Wayne's beat]

[Wayne Brady]

Put your hands in the air. Now put your hands in the air. Hey

[Round 3: Wayne Brady]

My intellect collects checks, my mind jumps hurdles

You're too dumb for NASCAR, and they drive 'round in circles

I tour the world doing musical shenanigans

You play shows at Walmart, after party at a Bennigan's

I was getting Emmys while you were in a Chevy

With a hemi in the back of a Denny's, singing for pennies

This TV and reality, which is which?

Tell me, does Wayne Brady have to choke a country music bitch?