Battered Old Bird (alternate version)

The landlady's husband came up to town today

Since he left them both ten years ago to serve the ministry

The dark down road of his approach in constant rain was drenched

The tenant's boy said "How d'ya do" then swore in French

Did you teach this little child these curses on my soul?

You should both be shut down in the coal-hole

That's the way to treat a child who cries out in the night

And a woman who teaches wrong from right

Chorus:

He's a battered old bird

And he's living up there

He's a battered old bird

And he's living up there

There's a place where time stands still

If you keep taking these little pink pills

"Hush your mouth, you hypocrite"

His humour cut her deep

The tight-lipped leer of judgment

That had seen her love desert her just like sleep

"Filthy words on children's lips are better, my dear spouse

Than if I were to speak my mind about this house"

(Chorus)

On the first floor there are two old maids

Each one wishing that the other was afraid

And next door to them is a man so mild

'Til he chopped off the head of a visitor's child

He danced upon the bonfire

Swallowed sleeping pills like dreams

With a bottle of sweet sherry that everything redeems

(Chorus)

And on the second floor is the Macintosh Man

He's in his overcoats more than out of them

And the typewriter's rattling all through the night

He's burgundy for breakfast tight

He says "One day I'll throw away all of my cares"

And it is always Christmas in a cupboard at the top of the stairs

(Chorus)

"Well there's a boy, if ever there was

Who's going to do big things"

Guess that's what they all say and that's how the trouble begins

I've seen them rise and fall

Been through their big deals and smalls

He'd better have a dream that goes beyond four walls

You think he should be sent outside playing with the traffic

When pieces of him are already scattered in the attic

(Chorus)