cut my fingers off

I fear the people I love most
And a disappointed face
My unconditional blindfolds
And a life that I could waste (ah-ah)
Now I never sit up straight
And I don't fit the mold (mold)
Crying all over ivory was never my goal

I cut my fingers right off, and you told me to reach out
But I'm all alone in my head, so I've married my doubts
Now I need someone to trust while I lie to myself
No strings attached, I need a thread
It's like I'm dead

Lone wolf, thought I'd do better on my own (ah-ah)
Lost in a survival TV show
And it's so manufactured, my brain's getting louder
Rejecting the flowers
Memorized all the smells of my bed's living hеll
Now my pillow is missing a cold side

I cut my fingers right off, and you told me to reach out
But I'm all alone in my head, so I've married my doubts
Now I need someone to trust while I lie to myself
No strings attached, I need a thread
It's like I'm dead