Sale Of The Century (Skit)

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls
Let's get ready for the Supreme Clientele Show
With your hilarious host, Dave Chappelle
Welcome to the show

What's question one, Dave?
What is the first thing a brother does when he wakes up in the hood in the morning?
Again, what is the first thing a brother does when he wakes up in the hood in the morning?

Ooh, ooh, yeah, yeah, I got it, got it
Alright, let's see if you got the answer
I'ma pray to the brown Jesus
Nigga, you lyin', you gon' eat that 1980s pussy
That is correct

Ayo, first thing I do in the morning, you know what I mean?
I scratch my balls, make sure it's two of 'em there
Then I thank my Lord and Savior that we still here
He is correct

I'ma light a Newport Hundred
Smack my bitch and have her make me some scrambled eggs
Correct
Don't put pork on my shit, bitch

I'ma put a porn on the VCR, beat my meat
So I can be light on my feet, you heard? Deadass
He is correct

I'ma keep it a buck with y'all
I just wake up, I'ma just go clean my gun
That is correct
I be in the bathroom with the Palmolive, cleanin' my hammer, so I don't
I don't, I don't, I don't know what these niggas is on
And he asked me, he ain't asked y'all