I Appreciate You

[Intro]

When my grandmother was sick, I used to carry her groceries home for her

To get there, I had to climb this hill with a park on it

I walked the same way every day

You will know how this feels

One day, because I wanted the best for myself

I tried out a new route through the park

It went underneath this bridge decorated with statues of famous Italian poets

And bits of graffiti on it that said shit like: "end back pain"

Underneath the bridge, which was basically five hundred years old

Was this enormous puddle that covered the whole path

I jumped over it

[Verse 1]

Time passed

And I started to hate the new route as much as I had hated the old one

I hated it because it seemed like such a waste of energy

And I hated myself because I'd chosen to live my life like this

But I still use the route even after my grandmother died

I don't know why, really

I was into detours and compulsive behaviours, I guess

Do you get the picture?

One day, around the time that we are moving back to London

I took that route again

But the crazy thing is— is that the puddle wasn't there

And I just stood like a stunned chicken, high for the first time in my life, and jumped

[Verse 2]

Time passed

I wanted the best for myself, you see?

The wind blew me all around the world

It was loathsome

And I loved it

I loved to die, and to be undone

I ignored letters that said "do not ignore"

I waggled my cup and asked for more

I ran laughing into the fire, but I didn't burn

Because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me

Every time I had a thought of any sort at all

I asked myself the same questions

Is any of this real?

Is any of this true?

[Bridge]

Is it going to be like this forever?

The answers were no, of course

Summer came eventually

Autumn after that

Then winter, then spring, then summer again

You get the picture

Since being told to abandon all hope of rescue

I have decided to rescue myself

[Verse 3]

The body

If divided in two, cannot survive

But the mind can

God grants my eyes the grip

And my soul takes care of the rest

Time turns our lies into truth

And they fit

Not like a boot, but more like a glove

You see the door is behind you, and it opens if you turn the handle

You break in, and then you break out, and then you break up

And the gentle sort of pain that follows you, is just the part of you that is still listening to the music

Don't let go of it

If you don't have to, don't leave it all behind