Holdin Me Back

First love. Young and naive with his first love

Made me forget where the hurt was

What a beauty that bloomed on the surface

But when you dig that dirt up

Bound to find a hole

What it seem ain't so

How you finna hold me down, if we can’t take hold?

Tryna rush to be a man

Til a man can’t grow

I was 9 years old

You was all I know

You built me up on some empty satisfaction

Shit so good, I can find nothin to match it

Guess it’d be different if this lasted more than moments

But it doesn’t so I’m hurting when I’m lonely

Stuck on my relationship wichu

That I’m not with myself

I’m broken, weak, and too ashamed to get some help

Been a long time comin

Look at all we been through

Now it’s done but I don’t feel too sentimental

Cause me and you live on a slippery slope

Sought peace from the high, now I’m hittin a low

Tryna throw myself past the tip of my toes

And I would fall to my death if I could let you go

You been holdin me back, holding me back

You keep on holding me back

Can’t have you holding me, holding me back

Artificial love, hard to give it up

Governed by an instinct from a heart that I don’t trust

Ain’t a part of me that doesn’t feel the harshness of your touch

There’s a darkness here that wasn’t there inside of me

Wish I could free my mind from what you told me

Made me feel like I needed you

Called my strength into question;

Anything I want, can’t see it through

Got me like what would Jesus do?

Shit, he was a man like me and you

‘Know he was tempted by the lure of the flesh

Only if he could see the view

Cause this right here unbeatable

Shit so good infeasble

Seein you prolly kin to the feel of how that boy from a needle ooze

Guess that make me a fiend, a fool

Guess you could get anything abused

Think I see how bein stuck in self made ruts ‘good fuel for a singin dude

From a generation seeking validation;

The effects of us growing up too fast

Some from ig’nance, some neglect

Wonder if I woulda learned if my father wouldna left

Found my manhood in a woman that I barely even met

Cause me and you live on a slippery slope

Sought peace from the high, now I’m hittin a low

Tryna throw myself past the tip of my toes

And I would fall to my death if I could let you go

You been holdin me back, holding me back

You keep on holding me back

Can’t have you holding me, holding me back