[Verse 1: Kevin Tuffy]
Well it all starts in a fast food joint of biblical proportions
In a small toilet that makes love some kind of astounding contortion
Although it isn't noisy, oh the love it speaks volumes
Kebabs and burgers a million miles away
Just four foot from the bathroom
She's beautiful and radiant, there's two of her she's blurry
He's nameless knight in shining armor
He said he's working early and
He said he'd walk her to the bus stop
Said she'd catch the N11
He said that the ladder in her tights was a stairway to Heaven
She threw up in the car-park, oh her head it is a pounding
He held her hair from her face joked
"Shall I get another round in?"
And she won't remember that he said that
Won't remember much in the morning
She'll be pregnant and nine months away
From the hospital her daughter will be born in
[Chorus 1: Kevin Tuffy & Laura Marling]
And she'll cry her little heart out
She'll curse the vodka-lemonade conception
She'll curse fast food joints and alcohol
Her life and his erection
And she'll mutter hatred and regret directed at her newborn
And she'll hate herself for not deciding
To go with an abortion
[Verse 2: Kevin Tuffy]
Well she comfort-buys a pram a pop-star had in the newspaper
She takes a photo of her daughter on her phone as the wallpaper
And she names her after the supermodel who looked best this season
She plans out her christening, the priest asks, "Why?"
She has no reason
'Cause she does not care for the God she's heard about in conversation
There's no guardian angel leaving her signs in the time-board at the train station
And her purpose for existence isn't etched into the tree outside her house
So her guardian angel doesn't do their job and should have been fired by now
Her daughter is angelic and nauseating at the same time
She personifies her big mistake and breaks her heart with a smile
Reluctant grandma says it's time for a break
A night out with the girls
So it's hair-straighteners and gloss and makeup
Squeezing into that short skirt
[Chorus 2: Kevin Tuffy & Laura Marling]
It's music, lights, and dancing
Fake IDs, queues at the bar
Rums and cokes, laughing fit blokes
And twenties from her bra
When her stare finds a familiar stranger
Playing pool potting a red
She knows that face, those eyes but she can't
Remember from where
[Verse 3: Kevin Tuffy]
Well he walks over London Pride in hand
Gives her a grin, a wink
He drops her a cheesy, "Don't I know you?" line and she's still trying to think
She figures it out, she wants to die
The room blacks out, it's 10:07
The remnants of, "Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to Heaven?"
10:08 and all the time she's lost 'cause of the boy sitting next to her
She reaches for her purse to take out the photo of her daughter
And he ponders, thinks, says, "Hey, she's cute. What is she, your sister?
You're cute too," and he's away, leaning in to kiss her
10:09: "No stop it! Can't you fucking remember?
The drunk girl you slurred 'I love you' to in West Kebab last December?"
[Chorus 3: Kevin Tuffy & Laura Marling]
"Like it or not you're this girl's dad
This girl, she's your daughter
Get your hand off my shoulder
I need a glass of water."
And the parents of a young Londoner
Sit and have nothing to say
"Welcome to the world," would be a start. "We're ready to bring you up
The right way."
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