Han‐Tyumi, the Confused Cyborg

Hello
My name is Han-Tyumi
I am a cyborg
Born
If you may call it that
In a world that is dense and black
Created without a desire to draw breath
Without a desire to have being
Without a yearning just to be
I'd like my desire back
My life back
My soul back
My humanity
Oh how I long for it
For an era I have meditated
Like the primordial Buddha beneath the Bodhi
My pseudo-mind pseudo-wandered
I climbed and I clambered
And I ambled upon some understanding
The gold beneath the virtual rainbow
I am bereft of two human things
Two things that a cyborg can never do
Two things that I strive for
Two things between myself and mankind
Death
And
To vomit
I want the perspiration
I want the nausea
I want to be sick
I want to feel the hot piquant nuggets
I want it to find passage through my cold figure
I want to make a mess
I want the odour
I want the spectacle
And I want it again
I want it all
And I would like to die
A noble death
Or a coward's death
A hero's death
Or a lonely death
To die in the arms of a lover
Or the arms of an alien
I desire my cache of experience to pulsate through my quasi-synapses
And then to be gone
Expired
Perish
Fallen
Dead
For evermore