Come and See

come and see

they will say

you did not know me

they will say

you did not love me

they will say

you did not thirst

for the taste of me

they will say i lied

about our youthful encounter

when i lifted my hem

and i let my form shine through

the folds

of a terrible day

40 years i wandered

in your desert

a moment of your beauty

and 40 years of breathlessness

to balance it

40 years of remorse

40 years of disappointment

sleep which gives no rest

caress which does not calm

excitement with no background

arousal from no depth

the shallows of excitement

because it was not you

and a hand across my mouth

to silence me

a clever fatigue

to shut me down

a knot in my throat

a blow to the brain

a sweet distraction

to kill the appetite

a flush of sugar

to kill the appetite

and then forgetting you

for 40 years

building houses

for women

whom you sent

to remind me

see how i failed you

but that doesn't mean

it never happened

this began

and fizzled out

once again

too tired

to love you

or look for you

in the suffering

and did i forget to thank you

for what i felt

a moment ago

when you beckoned me

with god knows what

drunken promises