I Wrote The Book

[Verse 1]

When it comes to hitchin' the boat up

Backin' down the ramp in my old truck

To find a bunch of logs

To catch a bunch of hogs

Yeah, I wrote the book

Yeah, I wrote the book

[Verse 2]

If you wanna learn to throw a curve right

To catch a clean up lookin' on a third strike

Talk a little smack while he's walkin' back

Yeah, I wrote the book

[Chorus]

But there's one that lays by the lamp on the nightstand

One that says don't cuss and don't fight

Or let the bottle turn you into a different man

But damn if I don't do it every Friday night

Those get you into Heaven letters in red

Ain't gettin' read enough to keep me on a straight line

I'm a Jack of all trades but man I gotta say

That's one book I didn't write

[Verse 3]

I met a good girl she had her life straight

She said she loved that I was good at everythin'

One day she left me in a cloud of dust

'Cause I never was too good at pickin' up

[Chorus]

The one that lays by the lamp on the nightstand

The one that says don't cuss and don't fight

Or let the bottle turn you into a different man

But damn if I don't do it every Friday night

Those get you into Heaven letters in red

Ain't gettin' read enough to keep me on a straight line

I'm a Jack of all trades but man I gotta say

That's one book I didn't write

[Bridge]

Yeah, the good Lord knows I need it

I didn't write it but I probably oughta read it

[Chorus]

The one that lays by the lamp on the nightstand

One that says don't cuss and don't fight

Or let the bottle turn you into a different man

But damn if I don't do it every Friday night

Those get you into Heaven letters in red

Ain't gettin' read enough to keep me on a straight line

I'm a Jack of all trades but man I gotta say

That's one book I didn't write

That's one book I didn't write

That's one book I didn't write