ESSEX LAND

Welcome to Essexland
There's lots of cash-in-hand
And this is just one man's story
So here it goes

Spending doll at the booky shop
Done the lot
Now it's back to noodle pots
Who's the boss?
Of profit loss
Out the front
St George's cross
On his land
Contraband
Fell off the back of a Luton van
It's all back hand
And brickie tans
I don't expect you to understand
If you're not from Essex land

He's an Essex man in an Essex land
He goes to work where he earns his grand
And he makes it last all week
Bills to pay and mouths to feed
Life is just so fun in Essex land
(We always slum it right)

Saving for a Turkey trip
To bring my hairline back a bit
Cheaper if I go away
Get my teeth done in a day
Lower than the asking price
Cheap cologne
And furry dice
And we do it all to fit in nice
Some do it just to entice
In Essex land
Not me though

He's an Essex man in an Essex land
He goes to work where he earns his grand
And he makes it last all week
Bills to pay and mouths to feed
Life is just so fun in Essex land

He walks the tight rope
In Essex land
He never drives slow
In Essex land
They call him John Doe
In Essex land
He gets what he wants so cheap it's almost free
In Essex land
(We always slum it right)

Double Dutch
Dip the clutch
Goodbye thank you very much
Can you tell
Here from hell
I can, different personnel
Beginners luck
Tummy tuck
Corners shop they've all been shut
Au revoir, So long and fare well
Another thing that's been and gone
In Essex land

Spend the night at the bar
The pub was full from my memoir
Standing at the fruit machines
The bloke behind me looking mean
Fancy that I'm gonna leave
Beer is soaking up my sleeve
Seen somethings you won't believe so it's
Back to where I'm out of sight
But where?
I'll tell you where
In fucking Essex land

He's an Essex man in an Essex land
He goes to work where he earns his grand
And he makes it last all week
Bills to pay and mouths to feed
Life is just so fun in Essex land
(We always slum it right)

He walks the tight rope
In Essex land
He never drives slow
In Essex land
They call him John Doe
In Essex land
He gets what he wants so cheap it's almost free
In Essex land
(We always slum it right)