Reasons Not to Die (demo)

I'm sorry the party you threw for me
Was met with such a royal hitch
I'm a bitch, I don't mean to be selfish
You rolled out the carpet to watch it catch fire
It's just another Thursday, my party
I cried like I always do

You flew here to help clear the mess that was me
Made up of fear and self-hate
A stalemate with he-who-shall-not-be-named
You tried and you cried, confessing your grip was slipping
Couldn't help me, you held me, the shadows began to fade

Here's to the ones
The renegades who never run
Despite all of my ranting and raging so
Here's to the ones
Who hide the bullet from the gun
Foot down on all my bullshit but won't cage me in

Despondent, catatonic suicide queen
By now I know a screw's loose or too few
Or worse there's too many
But of course, the dark horse
You bet all in stride
I hope I'm not a regret, I see sweat
I'll fight to the finish line

And I get so stuck in my head
Lost in all the lies, nihilistic backslide
And when I can't get out of bed
Then I see the edge I'm slipping from the ledge
And praying to gods I don't believe in for a sign
Some reasons not to die, and there you are

Here's to the ones
Who stuck in when they should have run
Despite all of my ranting and raging so
Here's to the ones
Who hide the bullet from the gun
Foot down on all my bullshit but won't cage me

Here's to my friends
All in until the bitter end
Drink or two to the toast
Not too many though