Thanks For Your Hospitality

[Intro]

And you don't know how I feel

To dream a dream of a lifetime

And it becomes real

Uh, it becomes real, yeah

Ayy

[Verse 1]

Ten years doing somethin' I hate

What a waste, what a fuckin' mistake

Too long I've been stuck in this place, rusting away for what?

Believe it or not, I'm leaving my job this evening

No reasoning could leave me to budge

Soon as I clean this coffee machine then I mean it, I'm off

I'll be meeting the boss, pullin' up a seat in his office

And confessing there's something that we need to discuss

I'll be like "no amount of money's even enough

I can't be a waiter no more man, it's eating me up

And I apologise dearly if it's seemin' abrupt

You're getting dumped and bein' on the receivin' end sucks

Look, I'd love to give you two weeks to a month

But two minutes more of this and I'll completely erupt

So I'll just leave now, cheers my hospitality sucks

And by the way, I always thought you were an arrogant cunt"

[Interlude 1]

And then, and then I'm gonna like

Walk outta there like and just start

Start high fiving everybody

In like slow-motion man

It’s gonna be so fuckin' sweet

Oh mate

The things I'm gonna do once I quit this fucking job

Man, man

[Verse 2]

Hey man, I can't take it anymore (why?)

I'm sick of spendin' forty hours workin' in a restaurant but I'm forever poor

I'm sick of readin' bad spelling on the specials board

And people tellin' me their screw top red was corked

I'm sick of bartenders flarin' every drink they make

Dinner plates so hot I need my fuckin' skin replaced

I'm sick of when they say "savings more like spendings, ayy"

When they pay then they try to split the bill a million ways

I'm sick of getting sprayed and drenched when I change a keg

I'm sick of management behavin' like they're David Brent

I'm sick of David Gray gettin' played daily

At every single cafe I've ever waitered at baby, ye yo

Shitty staff meals, large bills, no tips

Bar's always busiest the minute that it's last drinks

Dinner rush, customers complaining like I give a fuck

Decaf skinny weak mocha lattes in a mug

What?

[Interlude 2]

I mean

I really thought I was, I was gonna do something man

I thought I was gonna be something

When I was a kid, I was like asked what I'm gonna be

And I said an architect

An now, now I'm just doing this shit

And it's not what an architect does, that's, that’s for fuckin' sure

Ayy

[Verse 3]

I never thought I'd be doing something this boring

This pointless and unimportant, it's not how I was brought up

It's like I just got caught up in all this, honest to God

It's the oddest thing when a job can just transform from supportin'

And fundin' your life to becomin' your life

And all of a sudden it's like awesome I'm twenty-five and I'm poor as

Uh, it's b-b-bulldust I'm tired of taking orders

It's the sort of stuff you do as a Uni student for four years

It's been ten or more, just the thought of it makes me nauseous

It's awful I'm so exhausted, I surely am lookin' forward to

Squashin' my uniform in a ball and toss it all in a bottle bin

As I'm walking out tall into unemployment

Like so long, so long

To the job and all the customers too

That's right, don't you think that I forgot about you

All the stories I could tell of things I've done to your food

Ha!

[Outro]

Hey Terry, can I borrow your docket pad?

Dear morons

I have done what you could not. Not saying I’m better than you but obviously I am as I have quit

I am the one who took a booking for thirty-five people and put it on the wrong day… on purpose

I am the one who put Parmesan in the chef’s apron pockets

So when they washed their clothes everything smelled like Parmesan

I dislike most of you; and those of you I do like

I don’t like enough to ever want to see you again

You may consider us friends, but your surname in my phone

Will always be saved as the name of this restaurant

Thanks for your hospitality

Disrespectfully yours, Seth

PS: Get fucked, everyone

[Skit: Seth Sentry & Mantra]

Now to just put this where everyone can see it...

Come in

Hey, hey boss

Seth how are you mate, it's uh, I'm a bit busy mate so what's going on?

This'll only, this'll only take a second

It's just uh, it's just something that I've been-

What is it mate?

It's just something that I've been wanting to say to you for a long time

Righto, well tell us bloody mate. Well, what can I do for you?

Well, if you just let me finish what I was- okay so I've been working here for about ten, ten years now and-

You have, you know it's been great having you mate, but just as uh, you're here, I've noticed that the bins in the kitchen are getting a little bit full, would you mind uh taking care of that and then uh, we can have a bit of a chat when that's done, yeah?

Okay, I'll, I'll do that

Excellent, great, thanks man

Catch ya later

See ya mate

I'll go get that note