Pet Names

[Chorus 1]

Just when I thought everything would be okay

Just when I started to believe that everything was going my way

Out came the cloud from under my feet

Crashing back down to reality

[Verse 1]

You used to call me pumpkin, now I'm Halloween

Remember when I used to be your jellybean?

You used to call me schnookums and shit like that

Now you're after me with a baseball bat

[Verse 2]

I remember when I used to be the king

Your honey sweetie darling baby everything

I used to be your tall dark mystery man

Now I'm just straight up history, man!

[Chorus 2]

Just when I thought everything would be alright

Just when I started to believe that everything was out of sight

You left me with nothing but a scribbled note

That said I would no longer be your love boat

From here on out my pet name would be Ex

Your ex, your ex, your ex

[Verse 3]

It used to be sugar then it turned into salt

I used to rock your world now I'm standing on a fault line

Lying naked in a hail storm in the dark

You're my little tornado and I am your trailer park

[Verse 4]

You used to call me names too cute to repeat

Like honey bunch, hairy bear and Piccolo Pete

Goochy goochy goo goo gaga, shit like that

Now you're after me, screaming "you dirty rat"!

[Bridge]

I don't remember applying for a name change

So why is it you're calling me mister deranged

Psychopathic, pornographic, stinking drunk

Failing fast, lying-ass worthless punk

[Verse 5]

You used to call me sweetie pie and baby doll

I guess another stud's kicking in my stall

You'll probably call him superman or lover boy

You'll probably disregard him like a broken toy

[Chorus 3]

Just when he thought everything was going his way

Just when he started to believe everything was hunky dory

He'll look at that cloud that he's standing on

And with an itsy bitsy, teeny, little, almost inaudible squeak

He'll notice it's gone

From here on out, his pet name would be Ex

Your ex, your ex, your ex

[Outro]

Sweetie pie?

No, ex!

Honey bunch?

No, ex!

Bubble butt?

No, ex!

Pumpkin face?

Ex!