November 2020

November

Four years ago on this night I remember

At this same hour

Sittin’ in a lobby of a hotel somewhere in Massachusetts

With my band mates watchin' the election tick

Justin kept walkin' outside smokin' his rolly cigarettes

And Trump was winnin’ just as I had expected

At about 2:00 a.m. I said "Hey, I'm goin' to bed"

Ah what a tour that was Jesu/Sun Kil Moon had had

All of my friend's wives stayed home in bed

While I tried to lift the spirits of our audience

Oh what a month

Trump had won

Leonard Cohen was dead

And each night we played

‘Famous Bluе Raincoat’ in tribute to him

And here wе are November, 2020

Haven't toured since September 2019

With Chris and Scotty

Chris in the passenger's seat

Scott was the driver

And me in the back seat talkin' their ears off

Textin' the promoters about our riders

Told 'em the story about Luis Resto

And how he used Plaster of Paris

In his gloves

To put more power in his blows

And how Panama Lewis put him up to it

And how Luis Resto derailed Billy Collin's life

And how later Billy got into a car accident and died

And how for so long Luis Resto lived a lie

And how years later he admitted he knew all along

About what inside the gloves Panama applied

And how on camera he broke down and cried

I never killed no one but I've lived a double life

Cheated on girlfriends and slept with other men's wives

And yeah I may have broken some hearts

That's how life goes out there in the jungle

Throwin' darts in the darkness

One-night stands, affairs and flings

Sometimes short-lived romances end amicably

Sometimes you say goodbye and never hear another thing

And sometimes somebody’s heart ends up stinging

And if you're not careful you can bring home STDs

But hey weren’t we all taught the birds and the bees

But nature is nature and we can all cave in

And find ourselves lonely and weak

Everyone handles it different when they feel frustration or shame

For cheating on their studs and cheating on their dames

Some shove their shame onto others and place the blame

Some reach out to others and complain

Some convolute, contrive and confuse as they try to explain

How they ended up bitter after chasing the flame

After chasing an admirer, after chasing brame

Some men have swagger

Some women have game

But it don't mean they're all diabolically evil

Just means they're a certain kind of people

And some will judge them as people who unwholly

It's just the way their lives have rolled

Things that have been ingrained in them since we were three years old

And now I'm somewhere between older and old

And I got KOd and now I'm movin' forward

As for all of us and our suffering and pain

What of it is real and what of it is feigned?

Is it all about attention and coat tailing on fame?

Who knows what's real anymore and what is feigned?

And all the bumblebees and yellow jackets that stung us all along the way

Hey that's nature

Who are we to say we are not to be betrayed?

And who are we to say we were not fairly portrayed?

It all comes with the territory of hanging in the company of strangers

One-night stands, affairs and casual flings

Aren't promises of anything

No promises of bright futures

No promises of gifts or promise rings

No promises of big houses and drawers full of bling

No promises no promises no promises of anything

I'm imperfect and I’m flawed and I'm not the best broken-heart mender

But I love and care for all women and I've done my best to be kind and tender

I’ve tried to be caring and to be a good listener

Though I’m imperfect and I'm flawed

And I’ve broken some hearts

Who hasn't?

Not even my Grandpa

As for you, My Love, I must make amends

And dry your tears, for you've been my lover for so so many years and my best friend

And you've held me when I've been hurtin' and beaten down as fuck

And you've rescued me when I’ve fallen into ponds and lakes and oceans of bad luck

And now it is you that I'm holding and consoling while you're hurting

And now it is to you that I'm promises to that I'm done with all of my wrongdoing

You're the love of my life and I'm so sorry for all the hurt that I've caused you

But these are just words I know

You'll see by my actions

I will prove it to you

November, what will you bring?

November, what does my heart want to sing

November, Wait Until Spring, Bandini

Lays at the top of the stack of books on my bedside stand next to me

I open it, flip its pages and I think of you

And I love you like Svevo loves Maria

And I love you like Svevo Bandini loves Ma

His shoes are broken and patched he's out of work

He's behind on house payments

The Colorado winter brings him down

But at night when he's beside her all his woes are gone

When he melts into Maria

When he makes love to Maria