Vladimir and the Beast

Thank you, my fatherland

For helping me to be totally reintegrated and normalised

Only in the world's greatest socialist democracy could one hope to be forgiven for losing temporary sight

Of the aims and goals of the of the Marxist/Leninist revolution

Two years it took me to be cured of my illness

Being still a relatively young and fit man

I was still in search of fulfilment

The memory of Olga, Sergey and my two children

Motivated me to seek an occupation

That would both repay my debt to my great party

And obviously help the way to international socialism

I was still unable to resume my lectureship at the sub-nucleonic particle physics

And therefore volunteered to help our Afghan comrades

In their great struggle for liberation

I was readily accepted

Into a motorized maintenance unit

It was not long before I realised that our support

For the liberation struggle of our comrades in Afghanistan

Was not viewed at all together unanimously by the local population

In fact, we were not allowed outside of the barracks unless we were in large armoured groups

During our brief stay in Afghanistan

We had discovered some of the very few pleasures open to visitors to this desolate place

A local concoction called "hashish" was being increasingly used by our troops

And many of the helicopter gunship and tank crews, moreover

Would smoke large chillums and joints before embarking on missions around the mountains, surrounding Kabul

Every week comrades who had fallen into the hands of the rebels

Would be found in various states of dismemberment around the camp

Those unlucky enough to be still alive

Were sent from rehabilitation

To the German democratic republics

Since this would prevent any undue alarm by our loved ones back home

The wisdom of this policy is evidence of our leaders' great care for their people

Apart from hashish there was not much to divert or endure the cold mountain nights

And increasingly there were signs of the troops acquiring the illness of which I had previously been cured

And therefore, my attention was focused more on looking at the few animals that were kept within the military compound

As is often the case between human beings and animals

A close bond of affection can develop

And I became increasingly close to a camel I named Dimitri

Ah, dear Dimitri

No one can really understand the relationship between a man and his camel

As was the case with the army doctors and my superiors

Who sent me to convalesce in the German Democratic Republic