Mr. Shuck and Jive

Tell us once again this morning

Old friend how did you win the war

Everybody loves a hero

It don't matter if they've heard the tale before

And tell us of the time

When almost everybody knew you were a star

And how intelligent you are

Prove that you're alive Mr. Shuck and Jive

You can tell us of the man

Who stole your fortune and nearly ruined your life

Or better still, the one about the TV

And the couch and your best friend's wife

Tell us of grand projects never finished

With somebody else to blame

And all the reasons that your fame

Just never did arrive, Mr. Shuck and Jive

If you can get yourself together

Kindly write a criticism of this song

How it's exquisitely constructed

And yet mechanical and somehow slightly wrong

And you can put it in your book

About the enemy you never even met

You know you just might make it yet

But somehow you'll survive Mr. Shuck and Jive