Craigslist

Whoa, yeah!

You've got a '65 Chevy Malibu
With automatic drive
A custom paint job, too

I'll trade you for my old wheelbarrow
And a slightly used sombrero
And I'll even throw in a stapler, if you insist

Craigslist!
I'm on Craiglist, baby, come on!
Yeah

Well, we shared a quick glance
Saturday at the mall
I never took a chance
Never approached you at all

You were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gas
I was wearin' red Speedos and a hockey mask
Come on, let's find that love connection that we missed

On Craigslist!
Yeah, Craigslist, come on!
I'm on Craigslist
Oh, baby, maybe you are too!
Be bom ba chomb cadonk bin bam boo!

An open letter to the snotty barista
At the Coffee Bean on San Vacente Boulevard:
I know there were twenty people behind me in line
But I was on a cell phone call with my mother
Didn't you see me hold up my index finger?
That means, "I'll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutes"
So, what's with the attitude, lady?
No tip for you!

Got a trash can of Styrofoam peanuts
You can have 'em for free
You can drop by on the weekend
And pick 'em up from me
But the trash can ain't part of the deal
Only givin' you the peanuts
Get real!
Don't have no Hefty bag, so bring your own
Don't bug me with questions on the phone
Don't ask for help, don't waste my time
And don't complain, 'cause they won't cost you a dime
Just ask yourself:
Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?
You can have my Styrofoam peanuts
Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts?
You can have them all

They're on Craigslist, yeah!
Craigslist!
Ow, baby, come on!
I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist!
I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist, now

Craigslist!