I'd throw it all away and leave it all behind
I won't pick myself up off the streets that shaped me
Where I grew up way too fast at breakneck pace
And I lost my shot at this
Took aim, I fired and missed
That sense of failure I felt
Cause I always do this to myself
I can't take back all what I said and I did
I can't stop holding out for a dance with death
It's self destructive, hung up on yesterday
I'm losing everything, I'm losing everything
So why am I fucking trying?
There's not an ounce of good left in me
I let down every friend I had like family
Just like I always do
I'll think back to what I was told
"What you seek can't be held in your hands, bought or sold"
And If I go, what would be those shallow words you'll say to me?
Goodbye, or rest in peace?
Pretend to care, pretend to weep
Pretend you knew a thing about me
And my mind's eyes closed shut with doubt
Cause I always do this to myself
I can't take back all what I said and I did
Can't stop holding out for a dance with death
It's self destructive, hung up on yesterday
I'm losing everything, I'm losing everything
And I'll wonder what it's like to be wanted
Just the false hope to hold me in place
And every night where I end up thinking
It's all too much, is this my life to take?
And now it's all so clear
I want to be embraced by the void that I fear
Staring in, there's a sound that I'll take to my grave
A permanent solution that's been calling my name
I can't take back all what I said and I did
Can't stop holding out for a dance with death
It's self destructive, i'm hung up on yesterday
I'm losing everything, I've lost everything
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