England isn’t good at many things, but boybands? Football? Well, you can make a case.
Words: Abigail Firth.
England isn’t good at many things, but boybands? Football? Well, you can make a case. With Southgate’s 2024 England squad potentially bringing it home, the excitement is palpable as they prepare to face [and, let's be honest, probably lose against - Ed] Spain in the Euros final later today. As the nation holds its breath, here’s a rundown of the ones who’d make a good boyband lineup and the positions they’d take. We’ll take a one off charity single ASAP please.
The Baby: Jude Bellingham
https://x.com/ESPNFC/status/1811125703816982872
The Fit One: Trent Alexander-Arnold
The one that’s really quite talented and really quite good looking but not quite the main one. Who’s the most swoon-worthy in the England squad? Trent Alexander-Arnold? Yeah that feels correct.
The Mum’s Favourite: Declan Rice
A separate role to The Baby and The Fit One, someone has to bring in the wholesome cheeky chap vibe, the one you’d bring home to your mum. You’d bring Declan Rice home to your mum, wouldn’t you?
The Rough One: Jordan Pickford
Look, it’s not necessarily a full on bad boy [cough Kyle cough - Ed], but there does need to be a member who’s a bit rough around the edges, someone to get into a bit of tabloid trouble, the Lee Ryan if you will. One look at Jordan Pickford’s perpetually-fuming-on-the-pitch face and you’ll know this one is him.
The Glue: Bukayo Saka
As the glue of the team, Bukayo Saka brings everyone together, the one who can play multiple positions and still shine. He’s the one you can always rely on.
