Father's Day

[Verse 1] Tears still rolling down my face Simple fact it being Father's Day My confidence was confiscated More confrontations, shortened patience I'm aggravated, agitated Hate to say this, I ain't been a father lately And I feel like I been a screw up But then again everybody needs to tune up Self observation, conversations Choices made, I'm tryna find some confirmation Damn, how the fuck did I get here though? My own pops wasn't round to see his kids grow And I be damned if I follow where his foots go My baby mom took my kids about a year ago I can't lie, shit is hard, she don't get it though Every day the kids asking where their daddy go Shit, still praying for a better way I visualise good times when I meditate To be alone on my own on this Father's Day Tears still rolling down my face To God I pray To each his own, I can't condone I compensate, the weed relates And freeze the mind of my mistakes I smoke and drink, I contemplate I start to think, I hate my baby mama But that ain't true, but that ain't you Wear my shoes, I bet you couldn't fit in 'em if you tried to I'm sick of lies, I'm tired of what I'm going through It all starts with your kids not knowing you Am I putting too much time in this vocal booth? Am I spending too much time with my new boo? Or do you do it for your fam or the new coupe? Holidays of change ain't what I'm used to I was tryna refrain from doing court moves Never, ever a fan of doing court rooms Too many regrets, it's all in my head It's really not true cause all that I do was for my kids, damn Living on edge, I'm praying for help It's Father's Day and I'm feeling like I hate myself I hate this fame and sometimes, I hate this game But it's gon' change, yeah yeah, this shit gon' change [Hook] Happy Father's Day Hate it had to be this way Happy Father's Day I hate it had to be this way My heart beats this way That why my heart beats this way I hate it had to be this way [Verse 2] As the tears rolling down my eyes One day, wonder if my girl think it's kinda weaker to cry Baby mom sending threats, tryna seek and divide Attitude hella rude cause I'm happy inside Met a queen, Lord knows he just give me a sign Who gon' grab my hand? Who gon' wipe my tears? She gon' pat me on the back like it's alright, my dear Still wishing every day I had my grandma here But hey, that's the way that life is though We all living just to die, the way this script goes Shit, no answers, screaming fuck cancer Staring at a pic of my son, he so handsome First born, my baby girl, it's so special FaceTime to see 'em smile and say I love 'em First Father's Day alone, I had to suffer Still counting blessings cause they ain't got to struggle, Lord [Hook] Happy Father's Day Hate it had to be this way Happy Father's Day I hate it had to be this way My heart beats this way That why my heart beats this way I hate it had to be this way [Verse 3] See a nigga going through Make a change what I'm going through Sometimes people never understand 'til it all hits the fan Should have listened to 'em, warned you But that's life and we never get to do it twice I understand not many of us ever get it right But hopefully you kinda close before you see the light The realest shit I ever wrote in my whole life Yeah, and to my son and my beautiful daughter I'm sorry I wasn't better for you and your brother That bad blood in between me and your mother We both did things back and forth to each other I apologize, go and dry your eyes There's gon' come a time when it's all aligned, daddy's singing you them lullaby's Me and baby boy, throwing up the high five And baby girl probably passing me the pompoms Not mine but on God's time Still wishing y'all was close cause I know the way that time flies On this day I was really in my feelings Roll another blunt cause I been trying not to feel it Tears falling down on the pad on what I've written Part of me just gotta forgive, my daddy missing Cause I am nothing like him I'm so unlike you, going through it like them Shit, growing up right in front of your eyes Far from the perfect that we seeking to find There's a beauty in the struggle when you growing inside All my insecurities just on a platter besides I'm alive, I'm alive And besides, shit, I'm alive [Hook] Happy Father's Day Hate it had to be this way Happy Father's Day I hate it had to be this way My heart beats this way That why my heart beats this way Love y'all